Recovery

Allison’s P.O.V.

 

I walk down these steps hoping that it will be my last time, at least for a while. Climbing inside my car I recollect my first time coming here. It was 1 ½ years ago. I was 15. I was going through some really intense mental issues. I was suffering from depression and severe anxiety. My mother took me to Dr. McCall because she found out about my self-harming. She just cried and cried and I felt extremely guilty and it made me feel so much worse. Dr. McCall was my psychiatrist who jacked me up on anti-depressants that made me feel like I was a hollow shell. She said they would get rid of the bad thoughts I was having, that didn’t happen. At first I only had appointments once a week. I didn’t really mind going but the only thing the Doc wanted to talk about was why I self-harmed. Didn’t she understand that talking about it only made me relive the terribly awfulness I was feeling? Sometimes we talked about other things, like what was going on in school and if I had any friends. I’d tell her the same things every time. That school was lame and I had no friends. She always said that I was beautiful and that everyone was probably begging to be my friend but that I wouldn’t be making friends with my attitude. Things were actually pretty easy then. A couple months into my treatment I started to get really bad. I was having more suicidal thoughts than usual, and I was cutting more often. There was one day that I was feeling the worst I’d ever felt and I kept telling myself that it was time to just end all the pain so I went to the store down the street and bought a bottle of 200 500mg Tylenols. I locked myself in my room and separated the pills out into groups of 5. I took each group every couple of minutes. I grew very sleepy and soon feel into a deep sleep. I woke up a couple days later in the hospital. My mother apparently busted into my room and took me to the hospital. After that I started seeing Dr. McCall 3 times a week, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I’ve attempted suicide only one other time since then, using the same method. Slowly but surely my visits to Dr. McCall lessened. Recently I’ve only had to visit once every 2 weeks. She says I’ve improved well. I still have bad thoughts every once in a while but over all I feel like I’ve improved as well. Dr. McCall said in our session today that we would only be meeting once a month now and that she had signed me up for a group of teens who are going through what I’m going through. I start tomorrow, Friday. It’s a once a week thing. I’m kind of anxious about it. 

 

**AUTHORS NOTE**

Thanks for reading my story.!! 

Keep in mind that the title might change. Im still on the fench about it.

Also, this story isn't based on my life by any means. It's just a story i decided to write.

And finally, I dont get on Wattpad very often but i will try to update as much as i can. Please dont hate me because i dont update much.

Again, Thanks for reading my story

**END OF AUTHORS NOTE**