Haikyuu x reader OneShots

Kuroo x Reader - Say Hey if you're Gay

That morning (technically, it's 1 o'clock in the afternoon, but who needs to be technical?), as you slowly made your way to the kitchen in your sleep induced state, your ears perked up at the sound of distant chatters and laughter from the living room.

You wonder if your roommate/boyfriend Kuroo, had friends over. If so, you know nothing about it. Typical of him to forget to inform you of something.

As you made it to the end of the hallways, you let out a yawn, closing your eyes momentarily. "Hey, Kuroo," you mumbled, walking into the living room, "did you buy any more milk? Also, what's for breakfast, I'm starv...ing...?"

Your voice trails off as your eyes flutter open, and see several familiar faces staring at you. Bokuto, Akaashi, and your oh so wonderful boyfriend, Kuroo. Except they're not staring at you, they're staring at your...

All traces of sleep seemingly disappear as your eyes snap down to inspect what you're wearing.

See, there's a gift shop near the cafe Kuroo works part time in so he has a habit of buying you novelty shirts as gag gifts. And not just for your birthday, oh no — he buys you shirts every time he sees something hilarious. While you're somewhat grateful for the gifts, the shirts he buys for you are the kind of clothing you wouldn't be caught dead wearing in front of others.

But here you are, standing in the hallway to the living room with all eyes  on the T-shirt Kuroo got you a month ago. The shirt dyed a deep black with "Say hey if you're gay" printed on the front in capital, white script.

This is exactly the reason why you only wore them to sleep.

"So..." Bokuto of them starts to break the sudden silence, but it only made the situation even more awkward for you.

"I-I SWEAR IM NOT OKAY IM NOT BAKA KUROO BOUGHT THIS SHIT BECAUSE HES MY BOYFRIEND SO THAT PROVES IM STRAIGHT RIGHT KUROO?" You look at Kuroo for backup support who's trying oh so hard to restrain himself from laughing by pushing his hand against his mouth. It's his fault that you're in this mess in the first place. He could've at least informed you that his friends are dropping by. 

"Pfft...I-I'm so sorry, ___..." Kuroo struggles to enunciate his words, "I didn't know you were wearing thatshirt...I mean, I did, but I didn't think you'd leave your room wearing it—pfft...!"

He cracks up in laughter, clutching his stomach. Your misery seems to fuel his laughter.

Now, there's different ways you could handle this situation.

One; explain calmly and sensibly that the shirt is just a joke, that you are strictly heterosexual and you have no inclination towards the female species whatsoever. 

Two; panic and yell, and desperately try to explain that this is all a misunderstanding while attempting to kill Kuroo.

Three; commit seppuku.

And right now, you're seriously leaning for the third option.

"Wait, ____!" Kuroo stops you before you attempt to spin around and leave. You narrow your eyes at him. He turns to Bokuto, the one sitting closest to him. "____ stand there for a while...Bokuto! Bokuto, get my phone, I need to capture this moment!"

"Fuck off!"

You turn on your heel, and just as you were about to march back into your room and stay there for the rest of eternity.

Extended Ending:

"Dude where do you even get those shirts?" Bokuto exclaimed.

"At the store I work at." Kuroo replied while still laughing his ass off. "Why do you ask?"

"I wanna get one."