This is not happening,
I never saw it coming.
This is so unreal,
It has to be a dream.
I must be imagining things,
Someone say this isn't real.
This so very frightening.
Making me question everything.
I'm beginning to panic,
I don't know anything.
Everything is changing,
Where do I begin?
I'm so lost.
It's like this is embossed,
Into my skin.
I hate this feeling,
I feel so alone.
I wanna go home,
Please make it stop,
This is poisoning me.
My mind is running nonstop,
I am starting to break.
My vision getting blurry,
My stomach is beginning to ache,
My heart is racing,
My hands are shaking,
I am trying to ignore,
This feeling that I'm concealing.
I'm starting to drop to the floor,
Falling onto my knees.
No one can hear my pleas.
Now I'm kneeling like a weakling,
Sobbing on the cold floor,
that is near the door.
Attempting not to scream.
I can't tell anyone ,
My huge secret.
Tears falling down my face,
Starting to realize,
I don't recognize,
The figure in the mirror,
My so called reflection.
I don't even know who,
I am anymore.
That is my confession,
Sad but very true.
It's tearing me apart.
Should've known from the start,
That this secret would be a burden.
That's for certain.
There's a war inside of me.
My secret is attempting,
To battle it's way out,
From the vow,
I humbly swore.
Without a doubt,
It's trying to get my attention,
So it can be free.
Which seems so tempting,
'cause I'm cracking.
But I don't know if I'll be safe,
and I'm afraid of rejection,
Because I'm not very brave,
Something I should've mentioned.
My mental health is starting to worsen,
I can't patch it up with bandages.
My subconscious is attacking me,
Barely managing to get by.
I think I'm gonna collapse,
Perhaps that's 'cause I feel trapped.
I'm so exhausted,
From my big secret.
I wish this secret could be deleted,
Like old text messages.
Someone please press pause,
Or press restart.
So that time will freeze,
Or give me a fresh start.
So I can stop lying,
About the secret I'm denying.
So I can stop crying.
I'm tried of running,
And shunning,
the real me.
But I'm terrified,
From the secret that's classified.
Maybe I would feel less horrified,
If I was straight.
Maybe I wouldn't hate,
The real me.
But this is my fate,
Until my secret is revealed.
