The Octopus

The Invisible Rupture

"You have a horrible attitude" he says sternly, sitting down at the table.

"I know I have a shitty attitude." She mumbles as she abruptly turns and walks up the stairs before anything else can be said. The family is preparing for dinner but she knows that there will be nothing but hurt if she chooses to join.

Her legs tremble with every step as she ventures up the stairs and into the safety of her bathroom. She locks the door and sits on the cold surface of her toilet.

An explosion ensues.

Tears streak down her face like the splattering rain in a thunderstorm. A rupture of emotion takes over her and she trembles violently while curled up in the fetal position.

After a few minutes her mind begins to wander. It begins to imagine a place where all her troubles have disappeared and all that's left is nothing. She sees the vivid image of the pills, the hospital room, and the tube that was shoved down her throat. She remembers the failed attempt at peace. She remembers how everyone promised her that things would get better.

Lies.

It was all lies.

Nothing has changed. For a few months things appeared to get better. Her health, her mind, and relationship with her family and friends improved.

The crucial word is "appeared"

3 months ago, when she tried to take her life, something deep within her broke. A perpetual void had formed and it felt like nothing could heal it.

Over the past few months, everything had turned dire and therapy was the thinning blanket that covered it. Everything that had happened up to this moment was like the water that wears away at stones. Eventually the blanket would break and the void would empty again.

Now she had a choice. Cover the void or finally take the leap into emptiness.

Wiping the tears off her face, she looked into the mirror.

She knew what she had to do.