Listen to M83 – Wait from 2:30 secs onwards whilst reading.
It was 5 years after Augustus Waters died. Not a single day went by where the star crossed love of her life didn't cross her mind. To Hazel, her little infinity with Gus was still there. It would always be there until both of them were gone; as long as Hazel had the memories in her head their infinity was perfectly intact. She did not know if Augustus was watching over her, but she did know that he believed in something with a capital S, to hazel it didn't matter what that something was, as long as a little bit of Gus existed somewhere.
2 months after her 22nd birthday, Hazel awoke in the night with unimaginable pain radiating through her lungs, her chest felt like it was on fire and she was immediately emitted into the hospital. A week later after bad diagnoses and her parents sitting at her bed side, she knew this was the end. It wasn't going to be magnificent and beautifully tragic; it was just going to be death. She knew it the minute the doctor came in the room the morning before to deliver the news. It wasn't so bad though because they all knew it was coming, hazel and her parents. Isaac had come by a few times, always bringing video games with him that they would sit and play. They never really talked about it but she knew in her heart that Isaac would be okay after she was gone. He had a new girlfriend that wasn't a total bitch, and he had a loving family. In the evening of her last day, her parents sat at her bedside holding her hand whilst she struggled to make her lungs breathe. "Hazel it's alright. It's going to be alright. It's ok to let go" Hazel choked out an "I love you both".
She wasn't worried about what her parent's life would be like after she died anymore, she knew that they would get through it together. If one good thing came from Gus's death it was that it helped her parents prepare themselves from what was to come with her. "We love you so much Hazel" her mother whispered through tears. Hazel suddenly started thinking about an afterlife. She never had before except for when Gus would talk about it, but now it was staring her directly in the face.
Hazel was content with the life she had gotten, she had known true love, she had been so deeply loved by her family, and by her friends. She had known happiness and she was ready to let go. Something was holding her back and she realised it wasn't what was waiting for her on the other side, if anything at all, but it was if she would see Augustus again. Her mind suddenly raced back to when they went on their trip to Amsterdam and Gus first confessed his love to her, she remembered his words, how he looked when he said them, and she savoured that.
I am in love with you - and I know that love is just a shout into the void and that oblivion is inevitable and that were all doomed and that one day all of our labours will be returned to dust, and I know that the sun will swallow the only earth we will ever have.. And I am in love with you.
Suddenly there was no doubt in her mind. She knew deep down in her soul from the top of her head to the bones in her feet that if there was anywhere her and Gus could be together after death, they would be. She didn't need to worry, because everything was finally perfect. She thought of what Gus might say in this moment if he were here. "it's a good life hazel grace" The thought of that made everything okay. She smiled as she closed her eyes, her last sight her parent's faces, and slipped gently into an infinite unconsciousness.
Slowly and then at all one, she was aware of her consciousness again, yet she could not make out where she was. It was bright and she could tell it wasn't the life she was in before. Huh. So Gus was right, I bet he got a kick out of that, she thought. Suddenly she felt a presence behind her. "Hazel Grace" a familiar voice spoke. She slowly turned around to see Augustus Waters in all his magnificent glory, cigarette dangling from his lips with a grin stretched across his perfect face. A billion thoughts blew through Hazels mind all at once; joy, relief, love, unimaginable happiness and yet she could not make her mouth move to form any kind of response. She was so unbelievably overwhelmed basking in the happiness of the moment. Suddenly everything became clear; she was here with Augustus, She was home.
"Okay Hazel Grace?" Augustus beamed.
"Okay."
YOU ARE READING
It's a good life Hazel Grace
Romanceshort au based around when Hazel is going to pass on, and her thoughts are cast back to Augustus.