I loved you, not as family, but as something else, something special that can't be explained with a few words or any words at all to truly show you what I mean but here's what I think the best possible way to describe it. Your smile brings me joy and lights up my whole world. My heart flutters and butterflies are in my stomach. I'm more relaxed around you as if the world around us stopped. I stumble my words, trying to talk with you, blushing with embarrassment but that's okay, you found it cute anyways. I'm allowed and comfortable enough to be weird around you, we'll be weird together. Though I may get awkward and shy you found some way to turn it into something you call 'adorable' even though I feel like a complete idiot. When I'm down, no matter what, even if I snap at you for all the wrong reasons, you'd still stick with me and cheer me up. At times I know I tried to push you away, tried to disappear without a trace, delete my existence because I thought I wasn't worth it or thought you'd be better without me, wasn't good enough to be someone you call friend more so family but even then you didn't give up on me and just know that I won't give up on you or will I ever try to leave again. I made a promise and I plan on keeping it. I know you don't feel the same for me, probably found someone right for you by the time you read this, but there's just somethings I need to get off my chest and this, this is one of them which is hardest to keep in but most difficult to speak about. I just want to let you know. . I loved you
