Addendum to Letter

   I'm not sure why I feel this need to write explanations and corrections for my thoughts poured into Letter. It is safe to say that the emotions felt at the pen during that time have not faded. They have, if anything, grown exponentially stronger. Regardless, here it is.

   Letter was not something forced into creation in one or two sittings. Letter is the culmination of a lot of time spent dealing with my inability to communicate with her. A sentence here and there, this paragraph goes here, things like that.

   Letter is unbelievably self-centered. I tried so hard to make people "accidentally" read the note. There was a folded copy in my pocket, a typed copy on my phone (with the letter being the first thing you see upon unlocking my phone), and a copy of the Word document as one of the 6 things on my computer's desktop. It's pitiful, really, how childish I've been handling our breaking up. Letter will not change her opinion of me, but I will never realize that. That's the core of the problem; no matter how small the shred of hope is, I'll hang on to it as if it were the only thing keeping me from the edge. 

   Now on a more personal note, I am so sorry for everyone who has had to deal with my passive self-loathing. You can only take so much of that bullshit. My shortcomings are in no way any of your problems, nor are any of you responsible. By openly suffering, I'm making it your responsibility to console me, otherwise you're a "bad friend". That isn't fair. 

   I hate writing, but I hate math more.

Cheers,

Brandon