My best friends diary

Chapter 1- 8/o3/2016

Well yesterday was a rush. You new to hear the back story.

I dated a guy last year, Slad. He was amazing. But all things come to an end. We broke up. And he dated my best friend. Life? Sucked.

But now, still crushing on him, he walked me home yesterday and kissed me. My first kiss. A long meaningful French kiss.

That was sweet and all- I obsessed about it for who knows how long afterwards.

He kissed me again today.
It was good.
He pulled away every few minutes to compliment me and when he went back to kissing me, even though it seemed impossible he pulled me closer each time.
He was an amazing kisser and one of his compliments was I was a good kisser- so I guess I am one too?

Whatever. But afterwards he had to go home he said
'We are doing this as friends right?'

And I just said sure. Why not? I like him? He wants to kiss me?

But isn't that using me? It is. I will talk to him tomorrow. But what should I say? I have no idea how to talk to him- we always start out awkward and nowadays we start off awkward and end up spicy. Kissing to heaven and beyond.
Time to face the facts. My tongue was in my crush's mouth.

But what do I do?

I feel so used. It's hopeless. I'm going to die if he is using me and I'm not sure if I should ask but seriously- I want him to be my boyfriend not my friends with benefits!

What should I do?
What should I say!?

....................................................

Hiello. Thanks for reading! It's @MeghanJ2002's BFF KAZ and this is my actual diary so when I say 'what should I do?' I am honestly expecting an answer.

Thanks guys!