Keep me wild

Keep me strong

I will never remember the moment I received the letter. I still remember words by heart. "Dear Lauren I know I shouldn't write because it is easier that way for both me and you. But I just can't help myself because you deserve the truth. Lukas and I are getting married. He asked me a week ago. I couldn't say no. I love him, I really do. I know I won't be able to love him the way I loved you but I still do. He is a great person and he cares about me so much. He will give me something that you couldn't. Himself. Please don't hate me and I would like you to come to the wedding. I really hope that I don't ask too much but I really need you there Lauren. I will send you an invitation. I love you always. Your Camz.

But now when I think about that letter I understand her point od view. She deserved to be happy and to feel loved and I was just too selfish and too scared to give her that. I loved her, I always loved her to death,but I was just too messed up. He was a great guy, he was able to give her family,home and love and I just nedeed to accept that.

But let's begin from the start. Let's begin from the moment she stole my heart,from the moment I finally understood the feeling of loving someone so much that I thought I would die, from the moment I stopped breathing when she told me she loved me for the first time. From the moment our lips connected for the first time and I felt so fucking dizzy. From the moment she gave me every part of herself,from the moment I looked at her and realised that there is no coming back.