Can't Afford To Lose You

fin.

I had been running on my barefoot for hours, where are you Yoongi?

Yoongi and I were best friend since we were toddlers. I adore him a lot and love him a lot. But it wasn't any romantic love. Yoongi is a gem and a treasure. Yoongi is someone I couldn't afford to lost. But where are you Yoongi?

Yoongi had been suffering from bullying in school. I knew it cause I always witness it. I would always went up to the bullies and stood up for him. I protected him. Why? Because I can't loose him. He is my one and only friend that is more precious than anything. The bullying didn't die down, but I would always stick around Yoongi like a gum, not wanting him to get hurt. He still gets hate letters, and diss notes from the others.

And this is the reason why Yoongi had become an introvert and worst, now he has autism. Ever since my parents left me, I live with Yoongi and his parents. Yoongi's parents were often away from him and hardly give him any attention, thats the reason why they did not know.

Where are you Yoongi?

I was running barefooted for 3 hours and more, trying to find the lost Yoongi. I was out to do some grocery shopping since the supply had run out. The housemaid that the Min had hired was on her break and I had no choice but to go grocery shopping. I didn't take Yoongi with me because I knew he would deny the offer to follow. But that was the worst mistake I did. I should have drag him with me. Because, when I reach home, he wasn't there anymore.

I didn't know where he'll be when his days are really bad. I decided to call his friends to help me look for him. Jimin and I had been looking at the harbour and forest that all of us always hung out, Jungkook and TaeHyung had went to the school where Yoongi love to play basketball alone or with all of us, Hoseok and Namjoon along with SeokJin had went to the underground places and studio where Yoongi love to rap and sing his feelings out when they are all bottled up.

Yes, this perfect and talented boy has autism.

Jimin and the others had left immediately when they got my call, forgetting that I told them to get me a pair of shoes that I left at their place when I was there to stay over. But I realised, in this warm yet chilly autumn evening, I wasn't the only one running barefooted. Jimin didn't get his jacket, Jungkook was only in his house shorts and a pair of slippers, Hoseok was only in his pyjamas after waking up from a nap, TaeHyung showed up with his wet hair unblown and his moustache half shaved, Namjoon came out with his unmatch shoes and Jin who was preparing dinner, came with an apron above his thin clothes.

We all knew Yoongi's problem. Yoongi was only the him that I knew when he was with us. So many thoughts were running in my mind as I search for my gem. After a while, I saw him, standing on the top of the our-so-called-rest-house. I run and leap to the top and grab him on his waist, pulling him down from the dangerous place. Yoongi was wearing all blacks, black jacket, black sweated, black pants, black converse, black beanies. I knew what black meant to Yoongi. Yoongi hated black, because black means darkness, death, loneliness and any negative things that I could name.

When Yoongi was safe, I could feel him shaking like a leaf in my arms. Yoongi had finally show his emotions to me, he never showed them but he writes them. I would secretly read them when he was with the others. Yoongi look so weak in my arms. My hand tangled in his hair, and the other one on his back, soothing his pain. No one spoke until Yoongi calmed down and started off a conversation with, "I don't deserve friends like you and the others,"

I decided to let him speak, I miss his sleepy yet sweet voice. But he did not speak, he just sobs in my arms. I called the others and they were here after what seems like a decade. Yoongi lifted his head when he heard all the noises the others made. He looked up and sobs more. The other 6 boys just came around us and snuggle us up.

"What did I do to deserve all of you? All of you came without wearing proper clothes" Yoongi asked.

It was silence and I decided to answer that question.

"Because God gave us to you, because we are fated to be together. you deserve us because we love you for who you are and you love us for who we are. We all know that, this was the cause of all those bullshits that those assholes did to you. So I'm telling you now, we are all leaving this place, to a place where all of us can be who we are. Yoongi, you have us to talk to, to share your doubts and pains. Please lean on us like how I used to lean on you. Yoongi, I can't afford losing you after my parents' death. Please... Don't go,"

"Hyung, we all know your problems, we might have invaded your privacy but that's the only way we can understand you and your heart, trust me. We can read you like an open book but there are some missing chapters that we can't patch the complete story. Hyung, we are here for you," Jungkook said.

"You deserve us a lot, Yoongi. Last time when all of us were at our dark phases in life, it was you who helped us. We are now here to help you back. You are someone that completes us. Without you, we are nothing. We are Bulletproof Boyscout remember? Nothing can beat us down, same goes to you," Jin stated warmly.

"You're not a broken person, hun. You're just afraid that the world will look at you differently but if they do, fuck them. They don't know you, they judge you by your cover. Yoongi hyung, you're loved. Remember that.We will run to you when you need us, even if that means needing to get hurt, my feet ripping apart with wounds while I'm running, at least I can I smile when I see you. Even if I get hurt or fall on my way, it's worth it. As long as you're happy, we all are,"

"You're a gem, a talent that no one could replace because you are Min Yoongi, the one and only Min Yoongi that we love. Hyung, remember how you helped me deal with all the hates from our previous school? Now, I'm doing that in return. You can get through this, with us, everything will be possible, trust me," Hoseok said with a small smile.

Jimin then told Yoongi, "Have you ever thought what will happen if you just jumped of? What will happen to __? She needs you as much as you need her. We need you, but you build a wall in front of us. Let us break them down and enter you world hyung, we're here to help you. "

"Hyung, let me sum up everything in one sentence," Taehyung said.

"what is it?"

As if our mind are connected we said one same sentence, "You can smile as long as we're together,"