[VIXX] Ken - Goodbye

Goodbye

You knew this day was coming. From the beginning, when he would come home late after being scolded for little mistakes, and his sulking and the unspoken worries between you both; for all the times when you had to hide your existence by his side, when you had to disguise him just so he could go outside with you, and the times when you had to go weeks without seeing him because he was promoting or at a concert elsewhere. You knew that he was being closely watched just because he was with you. And you knew that, for every mistake he made, his punishment would be magnified because of that. 

The situation was clear- he was an idol, and you didn't exist. Not according to his fans, or his company, anyway. The only ones who knew were those who mattered more than most; your family and his, his group, and a few officials from his company. 

It had been hard enough to be in a relationship that could never be spoken of nor acknowledged publicly, but to spend most of your time worrying about him, and staying home alone... it made you question what you were doing sometimes. Sometimes, your reassurance wasn't strong enough. And the night you needed his comfort the most, was the night everything came to a close, all too soon. Perhaps you'd ignored whispers of this coming end too much. But it swiftly came, tearing you to pieces and leaving behind no trace of what had once been, except memories. Letting go was hard enough on its own, but when neither of you wanted it? 

You'd received word of his company's decision a few hours before Ken came home, and that was all the time you had to prepare yourself for it. You had been expecting hints of it for a while, but for the notice to come so explicitly... it shocked you. But the company's word was law, especially when they held Ken's hopes and dreams in their hand. 

You heard the doorbell ring and opened the door to let him in. The first thing you noticed were his red eyes. He took off his jacket and threw it on the sofa, avoiding your gaze. He didn't say anything so you opened your mouth instead. "Jaehwan-ah... Is everything okay?" 

He gave you a small, tight smile and nodded, and you immediately knew something was up. He wandered away and you decided to leave him alone for a while. 

Dinner was shared in strange silence and the quiet distance between you felt like it was unbreakable. It wasn't until you were washing dishes after the meal, that he came up to you on his own, snaking his arms around your waist from behind you, and resting his head on your back. 

"__________...." 

"Mm?""...Nothing..." After a pause, he started again. "__________..." 

"I'm listening, jagi." 

"..... What if... what if I had to leave for a while...?" 

A pang hit you in your stomach and you froze for a second. Did he already know? "What are you saying?" You washed the last dish and turned off the tap, preparing to face him. 

Ken was smiling one of his awkward, anxious smiles and he leaned forward to lightly touch your forehead with this. He then pulled back and sighed. "...._________.... we... we have to talk..." 

"Aren't we talking now?" You half-heartedly teased, trying to ease the tension, and gaining a slight nod from him. 

"... the company... ________.... I... I don't think..." He swallowed and looked down, his hair falling onto his face. "I... I'm so sorry, _______..." 

And that was when you knew. It was strange. How much you'd thought about how to begin the conversation and how much you'd dreaded hearing those words. 

"Jaehwan, what's wrong...?" You fought back the tears forming in your own eyes as you gently patted his head. He rested his head on your chest, sniffling, his body shaking with every cry. "Jaehwan... Don't cry... Please, please don't cry..."