Excerpt from SOUL CONQUERED: Of Demons & Angels, Book 3

Grace

"You will never be my enemy, no matter where you are, Grace." His voice is strong and clear, and I'm once again drawn toward him. I fight with all my being not to rush into his arms again.

"I'm supposed to seduce you." The words come out shyly, like I'm admitting a crime.

"I know."

"I get it now. What it was like." My throat thickens, and I can't get any more words through. And oh, it would feel so good to kiss him again.

"Grace, no matter what he does, remember who you are and that I love you. I will always love you, no matter what."

I can't stand another moment. I throw myself onto him like I'm diving off a cliff and press my mouth to his. Electricity, familiar and wonderful, flows through us as we kiss, every bit of emotion inside of me poured into this one act that eclipses everything else in the world. I was crazy to think I could survive without him, no matter what mistakes he made in the past.

He lets me kiss him, holding me close but somehow walled off. After a minute he separates from me, holding me at arm's length. "This isn't what you want, Grace. It's Lucifer's influence, not you. I know what it's like to feel desperate and want to give in for a moment's happiness. I can't let you make that mistake." Pain is all I see when I look at him, and I hate that I'm making him feel that way.

"It isn't a mistake, Josh. It's how I feel. This is more me than I've ever been. Please." I'm nearly in hysterics now. If being with him will make it all go away, even for a moment...

But then I remember what I am and what he'll become, and I deflate in his grip. "You're right. Of course I don't want you to fall. You shouldn't touch me. Not like that."

"Grace, I want to take you in my arms and love you forever. I want to forget everything else. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It's why I didn't come before. I can't trust myself to resist you."

A jolt of pain shoots through my chest, and I gasp from the severity of it. Lucifer is watching me. He's given me a job. But I don't care. I won't hurt Josh.

But...would I really be hurting Josh? Aren't I hurting him by keeping us apart? I should let him make that decision for himself. I know what I want.

"Then don't resist me." I throw myself at him again, forcing my mouth over his. My hands cling to his face, afraid he'll back away again if I loosen my grip.

His hands slowly rise to my waist and pull me closer. I run my fingers through his soft black curls, and he sits me on the edge of the counter where I throw my arms around his neck and let him bury his head against my chest.

"Grace," he cries. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Josh. Why shouldn't we be together? Who cares where it is or what else happens?" I don't want to think anymore. I don't want to worry about what comes after. I need Josh. His touch, his presence... It's like I've been in a coma and suddenly I'm alive again and all the world is in color because he's here.

His breath catches as I run my hands up his chest, over his white T-shirt now stained with what was left of my mascara. But he traps my fingers beneath his and holds my hand over his heart. We stand still for a moment, feeling the beat as it pounds out a hectic rhythm.

"I'll find a way to bring you back to me. I promise," he says.

"But we can be together right now if you just let me..." I trail off and lift myself toward his mouth, focused on his delicious pink lips, desperate to have this moment of joy.

"No, we can't." He holds me back far enough not to make contact. "Lucifer would never let us actually be together, Grace. You know that. He'd torture us forever by keeping us apart."

Tears of frustration burn my eyes and I glance away, not wanting him to see the Demon red. I can't accept a future in which I'll never be with Josh, never feel his arms around me or the electricity that charges between us. "I can bargain with him—" I start.

"No. I've been down that road. You can't. He doesn't make a bargain that's fair to anyone but himself, no matter what he says. Just know that I haven't given up on you and that you just need to hang in there a little longer." He takes a large step back toward the door.

"Josh, please don't leave me." Panic sets in along with another wave of pain. "Please. I need you." He may be right, but I feel like if he leaves, I'll lose myself again.

He hesitates. "I'm doing this for you. It's always for you, Grace." He shoots me a wistful smile, and I have to look away as he's enveloped in blinding light.

Lucifer appears at my side as I sob on the countertop.

"You failed, Grace."