Hi my name is Mr. Miller. I guess you can say my life has been a wild ride, from Russian spies to murdering guys, I've seen it all. But nothing has effected me more harshly than my fake ass scandal.
There I was, at the 88th annual Oscar awards Red Carpet Ceremony. I had on a beautiful yet revealing white dress that barely reached past my fingertips. Above and around my breasts was a sexy lace fabric, revealing my curves. At my coochie, there was an Oscars Logo, - for festivity - and my buttox was looking more fabulous than ever after my $56,000 implants. I was confident, and no one could get in my way. Paparazzi flashed their cameras at me, and I posed in all the right positions. It was fantastic.
Up until a reporter started yelling something...
"LOOK! MILLER HAS A FAKE ASS!" He shouted. Everyone's attention was drawn to me, and everyone started noticing my false booty.
"JELLO ASS BITCH"
"FAKE BOOTY HOE"
"GIRL CANT EVEN GROW AN ASS!" some reporters shouted.
Then everyone chanted "MILLER GOT A FAKE ASS! MILLER GOT A FAKE ASS!" and I was distraught.
Suddenly, my silicon ass grew a mind of its own. It wiggled like an earthquake and popped off my real butt. It grew legs, and ran around me.
Everyone started screaming, calling my a freak, but it made my ass mad. My fake booty then bounced on 7 reporters, knocking them unconscious. People started running away for their lives, but my butt threw poison ninja stars at them, killing them.
I think I saw my fake ass eat a woman whole, and I couldn't complain, as she was being very rude.
The swat team had to come and kill my booty before it killed any more people. I loved my fake ass, and now its gone.
I cried and cried, and my mascara was running everywhere. I left to go home, and I was so embarrassed. When I asked the ass doctor if that would happen, he said no. He lied.
But anyways, that's just one more story from the life of Mr miller. I'll never forget that butt, and all the people it killed. Things like this make me question, 'is there a god above?' I mean, if there is one, why would he let this happen? If you're reading this, please send me a gun, or pills, or poison. I dont want to live anymore and I will do anything to die.
