Hold on to Wishes

1: The Hospital

Light flashes zing past my vision, leaving me nauseated. No impact; just spinning. Spinning round and round and round and round. No pain. And no sound. Silence fills every gap, lapping at my ears, teasing me as we spin, spin, spin. My eyes are still open, for a reason I'm not sure of. Why do I want to see my own death? Is that why I'm still watching? Or is it because I can't close my eyes now, after everything, as if my brain deserves to see the end of this beautiful world one last time? Spinning round and round and round and round. No sound. No pain. No impact- SLAM!

It took me a second to realize that my eyes were open for real. The fluorescent, bright lights above my head were blinding, but as I began to focus on them, I recognized the speckled ceiling beyond, along with the faint sound of beeping monitors. Blinking rapidly, my breathing sluggish and loud, I attempted to get my bearings. Nothing else was in my line of vision except for a long table full of what looked like flowers and covered plates of brownies. A tall monitor was the source of the beeping on my right, the green line marking my heartbeat and breathing patterns.

My brain was trying to comprehend what was going on. Everything was sore, as I suddenly could tell. I must've been on some kind of intense pain killer, because my mind was fuzzy and overloaded. I couldn't think straight. It hurt to breathe, actually. And I couldn't remember why I was here. Why was I in a hospital?Where were the triplets? What about Mom and Dad? I couldn't-

The memory came flooding back all at once. There was no sparing me from the pain, and the reality of what had happened hit me like a brick.

A strangled scream came from the outmost regions of my heart up to my throat, begging for release. But there was no sound, only a dry wisp of air. How long had I been asleep? No, no time to ask those questions. What about Felix and Abby?

I tried to move, but was soon to realize that tubes, wires, and a bunch of tied up stuff were attached to my wrists, stomach and nose. In desperation, I bucked my heels, rocking the hospital bed on its wheels. Have- to- get to- Felix- and- Abby!

Searing pain split down my chest, disappearing under the light sheets to my lower half. Panic was starting to take its toll in my discombobulated brain, turning the world upside down. What was I- Who was I- I'm going to die- Am I dead?-

"Fel?" A groggy voice asked, and I whipped my head to the side, my green eyes wide.

"FEL? OH MY- RICK! RICK, GET UP! NURSE!" A woman with blonde hair pulled up in a quick bun leaned down beside my face, joyful tears flowing down her weary face. I hadn't noticed the row of chairs beside my bed before, housing a few exhausted looking people. They were all sleeping with their heads on their hands, propped up against the back, or straight up falling out of their chair, halfway bent over, like two identical boys.

"Mom." I breathed, or thought I did. Instead, it came out sounding like a choking walrus. It surprised me how long it took me to remember that this woman, this mess of a person, was my mother, crying before me. What was with my memory?

She cupped my face in her hands, crying harder. She was unable to get any words out of her mouth, bumbling about something unintelligible. The man she had yelled for, my dad, stirred in his seat, blinking blearily before spotting me with my eyes open. He stumbled over to us, yelling for a nurse in a choked voice, and touched my hair gently.

"Oh, Fel... We thought we had lost you, the doctors said there wasn't much of a chance, oh, my baby girl, sweet girl. You don't deserve this." He babbled, and began to cry also.

I honestly still didn't know how to feel. Too many things were going on at once- All that mattered was Felix and Abby. Were they okay? What happened after I passed out? How long had it been?

A nurse ran into the room, my increased heart rate alerting her to my awake presence. Maybe the crying parents weren't enough to solve the mystery. She bolted to my bedside, checking the wires. An incredulous look of awe plastered on her face as she called for backup.

I tried to open my mouth and ask my dire questions, but there was still no sound. Flustered, I pointed at my mouth, but the nurse paid no heed.

"Felicity, we love you so much... I don't think we've told you that enough. Have we? Rick, wake up the boys. Actually, wake up everyone. You're going to be okay, sweetheart. It'll be okay. Oh, honey, we didn't know if you'd make it. There are too many awful things that have happened, I just can't- Fe- Fe- Fel..." Mom stammered on her words, biting her lip and clenching her hands together so tightly that it must've hurt. Dad slipped over to the row of people, shaking their shoulders with a callused hand.

The two boys who had been leaning on each other halfway out of their chairs flopped onto the floor at Dad's touch, lying there like rag dolls for a second. Suddenly, almost mechanically, they both sat up and blinked, their identical hazel eyes groggily taking in their surroundings.

"What happened? Is my sister-?" One inquired in a concerned tone before seeing me. The other turned his head, blonde hair falling in crazed, messy locks over his face. Their expressions of mind melting relief was enough to split my heart in two pieces.

"FELICITY!" They both screeched, tumbling over each other's legs to stand up. Eventually they resorted to crawling, and scrambled to my bed side.

I smiled weakly, trying to reach out and wave a quick hello, but the nurse patted my hand down impatiently.

Fane and Flynn, dang I'd missed them. Gazing into my brothers' intense, melting eyes, I wanted to fall into their arms and never wake up again. My own eyeballs were starting to droop, but abruptly I was reminded of the incident that must've brought me here. Using my remaining strength, I struggled to push against the sleep-inducing stuff swimming in my body.

Dozens more nurses piled into the room, pushing past my family to get a closer look at me. One lifted up one of my arms, checking the tubes attached to my wrist. A thick red liquid was coming in or out of one tube, and another was flowing with a clear substance. I felt my stomach heave with emptiness and disgust. I was about to be sick.

What happened before the incident? I furrowed my brow, trying to think back to that time period. Finding that nothing came back, I tried to force my fuzzy brain to focus, but it was no use. Feeling myself start to nod off again, I clutched at the bedsheets, kicking away nurses in a terrified frenzy. I didn't want to go back into that terrible darkness- No, please, no.

Fane grabbed my arm, forcing me to look into his face. His dirty, tanned nose was in my clear view, so I focused on that. A tear dripped off of it and landed on my cheek. Since when do my big, bad brothers cry? Never, they don't... cry... FELIX. ABBY. I NEEDED TO STAY AWAKE FOR THEM. WHERE WERE THEY? My heartbeat was starting to slow, suiting the long breaths of my calming brain.

The nurse who bustled into my room first replaced Fane after a bit of a struggle, and stroked my face soothingly. "It's okay, sweetie. Just gonna let you go to sleep so that we can do some more tests, and check some things over. You're on the road to recovery, honey, it's quite frankly a miracle. Can't say the same for everyone; You were in quite a nasty..." Her cloudy blue eyes faded from my view, and the inky darkness of nothingness filled in for the missing link. Before my mind drifted off the charts, I quickly reminded myself; I am Felicity Kept. My wish is to find Felix and Abby. I wish to be myself again- Forever.