Untitled.

One.

I was supposed to be on hiatus. Whoops.
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BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!

She sighed, and slowly took the covers off. She fell out of the bed in the process to get up, but it didn't faze her. She slowly began to crawl to the alarm clock. She hit "OFF" then fell back to the floor.

She laid on her back, looking at the ceiling. She debated silently cursing the alarm clock for waking her, yet decided that this was better than the nightmares. She closed her eyes gently.

She just woke up, shouldn't she feel at least slightly energized? She sighed for a second time. No, of course not. It's been like this for months, why would today be any different?

The minutes ticked by. She looked up to the alarm clock. 6:47. She had been laying there for about twenty minutes. She closed her eyes again as she sighed once again before slowly forcing herself up off the floor.

She steadied herself on the nightstand that the alarm clock rested on. She tried to keep her mind empty as she opened her closet and absentmindedly grabbed a shirt and pants. The thoughts from last night kept returning. She couldn't stop them, she didn't really try to anyways. She had long since given in to them.

She grabbed the remaining things she needed before heading to the bathroom. It had a heater that made the room warm, all she wanted nowadays was to be warm. She didn't know how to be warm anymore. She turned on the heater as her thoughts attacked her skull. Another headache, just what was needed.

She sat on the toilet as she waited for the heater to warm up. It was directly in front of the toilet, she didn't want to move it to somewhere else in the small room. She put her hands to her face before softly sighing again.

She left the bathroom and did her best not to crawl to the kitchen. She dragged her hand against the wall, stove and counter top until she reached what she was looking for. The pain killers. She took out two and gulped them down, hoping the headache would go away soon.

She got ready quicker than she thought she had. Entering her room again, the alarm clock read 7:00. She grabbed her bag and shoes, dragging them and her feet to the living room. She put the shoes on slowly as she began to think. When did this happen? The days passing ever so slowly, yet blurring together. She felt so numb all too often. She wondered if anyone else believed the front she put up to keep everyone out.

She began lacing up the shoes. She thought back to the last time she remembered being happy. She wasn't sure how or why, but he was able to make her real smile come out. The one she hid because it hurt too much to pretend it. But he was able to lure it out with ease, and didn't use it to hurt her like so many before. What happened? What went wrong? She can't remember anymore. She close her eyes once more before leaning back onto the side of the couch.

She debates if breakfast is really worth it, if she deserves to eat this morning. She looks at the clock. 7:09. She decides against it. She hasn't been eating much in the morning anyways, it won't hurt to miss another day. She sighs before sitting down on the couch to go through her bag. Binders, check. Folders, check. Writing tool and gum, check. She walks slowly back to her room.

She grabs the book that's been sitting on one of the nightstands, her phone, and the earbuds. She hides the earbuds in her shirt so no one notices them. She sits down on her bed before closing her eyes, trying to prepare herself for the undoubtedly stressful day. 

She checks the time again. 7:13. Time to go.