Story Of My Life.

I dont know where or even how to start.

I don't know where to begin if im completly honest. I want to start from when I was born but I dont think that would make sense. I would start from the age where I started to realise what life was and also what was going on around me. I could also start from the present day which I think would be the best decision but either way, its going to be hard. Looking at the way I started the story, I think im going to decide on the latter and start from now. My name is Lily-mae Hatton, I am 14 years old and this is my story.

FRIDAY 11th MARCH 2016

They keep coming back and I just want them to stop. I dont want to be reminded anymore. I've already dealt with the pain and i've already suffered so why can't my mind just stop playing games.

Flashback moment:

"Come on baby, it's ok don't look so scared. Darren's not gonna hurt you I promise. If you be good, you can have a treat afterwards."

"Please not today, I feel poorly today. Im scared"

"It's ok, connor's here aswell. Its not just you sweetheart. Your brother has to do it aswell. Come on baby, drink up otherwise I will force it down there!"

"Please not today, it hurts. I dont like the taste of this drink. Its tastes funny and makes me feel icky"

"I warned you!! and now you've made me mad. No treats for you now get your ass over here before I drag you over here by your ankles!"

Darren has a strong hold of me, he's holding me by the cuff of my shirt and forces the drink down my throat. Its burns and tastes horrible. I know whats going to happen and im scared. I look over at connor and see the same look in his eyes - fear. Outright fear. We're both petrified but its our life, its normal. I see Kevin walk over to his computer and turn the webcam on. Once he's set it into position he grabs my neck and throws me on the bed. He then whispers sweet, kind words in my ear while slowly stripping me of my clothes. Its cold in the room, just like it always is and the sheets on his bed are blood stained from my previous visits. I look up at kevin to see his cold, empty eyes. The only way I can describe them is cold, even the colour - light grey, the colour of ice. He then gives me his signature smile that tells me what hes about to do.

"Please kev kev, not today, im tired and feel poorly. Please not today" tears are already finding there way down my face but it only makes him more determined.

"SHUT UP WITH YOUR COMPLAINING! If I hear anything else from you i'll make it worse. Do you understand!"

"Yes"

"Then relax baby girl. Time for me to show you how much I love seeing you"

He starts kissing me, my neck, my cheeks, my nose, very gentle at first but when he gets to my lips he gets rough. I know whats going to happen now. I feel him opening my legs with his free hand and then, just like I knew I would, I feel his fingers slip inside me. It doesnt hurt much anymore but its still painful. I let out a quiet whimper as he feels around. Looking over his shoulder, I see darren grinning while he watches through a screen.

I open my eyes and feel the tears streaming down my face. I feel so helpless and alone. I just want it all to stop, but I know it won't. Slowly, I get up and wipe my tears. No one is home at the moment, my mum and dad are out walking the dogs, thankfully. I grab my kindle from its usual spot and open the music app. I dont care what song it is I just need to get away. Music is the only way I can do that. The sounds of the steady track 'Say something' fills my ears and I gradually relax. Sometimes, not even music can help and thats when im at my worst.