Lost...

Chapter 9

Beca stops in her tracks when her eyes fall upon her girlfriend. The redhead is standing in front of the sink, faced away from Beca. The brunette can see her body jerking with what are now violent sobs. Chloe is holding a blade in her right hand, making many marks on her left wrist. The sight alone nearly kills Beca.

Her stomach sinks as she screams, "Chloe! Stop you're hurting yourself!" She doesn't though. She doesn't even look at Beca, just sobs harder than before and keeps her movements going. Beca chokes out a sob-slash-cry. "Chloe!" Nothing. The brunette decides that she's forced to go over and do something because verbal use is obviously not working. She takes a few steps so that she's behind the redhead and takes the blade out of Chloe's hand with a surprising amount of ease, and tries a more calm aproach. She wraps her arms around the front of her girlfriend, locking the redhead's arms to her chest as she does. "Chloe. Chloe it's ok." Her sobs seem to only be getting more violent, so, Beca tries again. "Chloe stop. Stop. I'm here Chlo it's ok." She presses her lips to the redhead's skin left open on the back of her shoulder by her tank-top. Which seems to work slightly, because heavy sobs have now gone silent although she's still shaking. Beca hushes her repeatedly, and rests her head on Chloe's back while slowly and softly rocking from left to right. Her breathing finally becomes steady, and then they're just rocking back and forth.

When Beca had seen what Chloe was doing, when it had actually registered in her brain, it had absolutely destroyed her. To know that Chloe is hurting enough to do something like that. If someone had told Beca during her freshman year that she'd be standing behind Chloe Beale, arms wrapped around her waist, trying to get her to stop cutting herself, she would have laughed for hours. Except, here she is. And god, does it pain her to see Chloe in such a terrible state. She feels selfish, really. Because it's Chloe who had gotten kidnapped, Chloe who had been raped, Chloe who felt the need to harm herself. Beca's afraid that she may lose her light, that her Chloe could become dim. And so she vows then and there, that she will do everything in her power to make sure that her light never burns out.

"Look at me Chlo.." She feels the redhead slowly start to turn until she's looking at Beca with puffy eyes. The brunette brings both hands up to Chloe's shoulders, and trails them down the back of her arms until their curved fingers catch one another. Beca squeezes lightly before saying, "I'm gonna clean you up, okay?" The redhead just closes her eyes and nods. Beca leans in to leave a kiss just beneath Chloe's ear. She grabs beneath Chloe's thighs to lift her onto herself, and feels her girlfriend's shaky breath on her neck as she rests her head there. Chloe hooks her legs around Beca's hips as she is walked to be sat down on the bed. Beca pushes red hair behind Chloe's ear. "I'll be right back." She presses a chaste kiss to Chloe's forehead before going back into the bathroom to look for supplies. She comes back with peroxide, cotton pads, and a washrag. Beca settles sitting up with her legs spread in the middle of the bed. She pats in between them for Chloe to come closer, who does as she is silently told. Once close enough, Beca pulls on the redhead's legs slighty and settles them around either side of her hips. Chloe is looking down at her arm blankly, and snaps out of it when Beca grabs it lightly and lays it down on her thigh so she can get a better look at it. "It's.. probably gonna hurt at first but it will feel better okay?" Chloe just looks Beca in the eye and nods. She grabs the washrag that's slightly wet, and starts to lightly dab the wounds until all the blood is gone. Once that is taken care of, she grabs a cotton pad from her side along with the hydrogen peroxide, and pours some onto the cotton pad. She looks at Chloe apologetically, knowing it's going to sting. The redhead closes her eyes and leans forward to rest her forehead on Beca's shoulder. The brunette slowly starts to swipe the pad across Chloe's arm horizontically, and hears the redhead's sharp intake of breath through her teeth. Chloe grips at her girlfriend's shirt a little tighter before hearing, "I know baby I'm sorry. But I have to or they'll get infected."