Disturbed

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Disturbed

By emsie98

I was pacing the aisles of the library. All I wanted was a good book to read each night before bed. All those fancy covers were so overrated. Suddenly, one caught my eye. A plain black leather spine, hand-written, no reference number, no publisher, not even a title but there was an author. Katie Jackson.

Once I got home I sat down and took out the book. As I slowly began to lift the cover, revealing the first page, I was interrupted by my mother calling me. "Nat, food's on the table!" My name is Natalie Spencer and this is my story.

After racing through dinner, I scurried up the stairs and into my room. I only had about half an hour before it was time for bed and I just had to get a start on this book! My boring life included no more than going to school, doing homework and sleeping. I was fascinated just looking at the cover yet curious about Katie Jackson. What sort of things happened to her? What did she do? I had such a dull life so you couldn't blame me for being so curious.

I had discovered that she was an orphan, living in a foster home. She arrived at the orphanage around the age of 4 therefore barely remembered her family. I was only up to the second chapter and her life was already so different to mine. I was as close to my family as a snail to its shell, while she was living with people who at one stage were complete strangers to her.

Second chapter was interesting, especially for me. Katie was in trouble with the police when she was 15, for stealing from a service station. Stealing? I was so shocked that someone of her age would even consider that. Stealing had never even crossed my mind, not even something of my little sister, Rebecca's. Our differences were truly great.

At school I couldn't concentrate on my work but lack of sleep wasn't the reason. If anything, I thought I had been sleeping better. It was the book. It was all I could think of. All day long, I couldn't help but wonder what was around the next corner of Katie Jackson's life. Even when my friends spoke to me they had to call my name just to get me out of that trance.

A few days had passed, and with each day brought more events, more information, simply more about what she was like. She too had a younger sibling. A brother, named Luke. Lucky for them they were sent to the same foster family, therefore remained close to one another. But I guess they never really adjusted, especially Katie. She wrote in her book that she would physically abuse her foster mum if she got too close to her. On multiple occasions, she left her hospitalised but surprisingly they never did anything about it, only simple punishments like being sent to her room. Obviously that didn't stop her.

"Natalie, have you seen my phone?" My reading was yet again interrupted by my mother. She was under the impression that someone had taken her mobile phone. Mum never left anything behind, so by saying it was taken she meant that someone actually came into the house. That someone stole it right from her handbag. If that was what really happened, I'm sure they would've taken a lot more. My theory is just that she misplaced it but being as perfect as my mum, she said that was absurd.

One night, I just kept reading. I must have been about 20 pages or so from the very end, when I froze. I couldn't move. These words, I couldn't comprehend. I slammed it shut and threw it out of sight. I was disgusted with Katie Jackson for doing such things, for writing that book. I was disgusted in myself for choosing to read it.

How could she do that to her own brother, to anyone at all? How? Why? With images flashing across my mind, I recklessly felt around my side table for the lamp switch. I turned it off and pulled the covers right up to my chin with my knees at my chest, my eyes wide in horror. She was a murderer.

The next morning my level of shock rose when I witnessed my mother's face. Bruised and bleeding. "Mum! Oh my god! What happened? Who did this?"

"All I could see was a black silhouette approaching me in the night. A part of me was sure it was one of you guys, until these strong fists started coming towards me," she managed to say, each word causing more pain for herself. "Mum I can't help but think that...whoever did this to you, may have been the same person who stole from you," I said, trying to make sense of it all.

We called an ambulance and mum was taken to the hospital. A baby-sitter arrived soon after. I spent the whole day with Rebecca, trying to keep her calm and her mind off mum. I don't know what I'd do without her or if anything happened to her. She's such a good kid.

Later that night, I didn't dare pick up that book. So much was happening and I had already freaked out enough for one day. I went straight to bed but struggled to even come close to falling asleep. Flashes of mother's face, what Katie did to her brother and Rebecca's fearful eyes kept appearing in my mind. I had to open my eyes every time it happened because seeing my room would calm me down.

The next day mum was back at home with a few stitches across her forehead. It was frightening to see her like that but I couldn't let it show. It was another day of trying to keep strong but whenever I would let my mind relax, the book would sneak its way in. Then that night, again it was early when I went to bed, but knowing my mother was on the road to recovery, allowed me to relax and I was asleep just like that.

Suddenly I was awake. My eyes were open and alert. Screaming. Crying. It was all I could hear. It was my mother. I went to her room. I was there so fast I couldn't even remember getting there, but she wasn't in bed, not in her room at all. Her screams continued on. I ran into my sister's room where I found her. Still crying, my mother laid over Rebecca's lifeless body. Her blood dripped from her finger tips, leaving a puddle on the floor. It was when my legs went weak and my knees hit the floor that I realised the red smudge my hands had made. I turned them over only to reveal the still wet blood that coated my hands. Looking down at my shirt I noticed her blood splattered all over my body. It was me. How? Why? Was I the thief? The one who beat up my own mother? A murderer?

It was all too familiar. The book. It couldn't have just been a coincidence, it had become my life. I had become Katie Jackson. Maybe we weren't so different after all.

Now here I sit, in a room with white walls, in these white clothes, without a mother to love me, without a sister to care for but with a mind that turns imagination to reality.

Each day I wake up and go for a walk around my new surroundings. I walk with someone by my side, not a friend, but just a person to watch my every move. As I leave my room, I realise how different my life has become. Knowing that I'm not the only troubled person out there, is what I guess you could call a good feeling. I'm surrounded by them in this place. Different people with their own story behind it all. The corridors display the names of all the other patients in the rooms near mine. Reading them helps me feel as if I'm getting to know my new family. I begin by playing a little game by choosing the names of people who I think I will like and who will like me. It reminds me of when I was looking for a good book. Suddenly, one name catches my eye...

Katie Jackson.

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