There is one vivid memory I have amongst all of the others from my elementary years. I can clearly remember my overwhelming love for nature and the way it could make me feel. I used to sit on the highest part of the field and watch as the clouds would shade parts of the hill. Just witnessing how the parts would shift and the light would illuminate the grass was a thrill.
I used to have dreams about walking into a forest, burying my feet in the dirt and slowly morphing into a large oak. I would spread out my arms like a crucifix and let the wind flow between my parted fingers. It was in these dreams that I was truly at peace.
Ever since I was a small child all I ever wanted was to spend my days alone in a forest, surrounded by the shrubs and leaves, but it's not my place. I feel as if I have lost my years old connection with the woods I hold dear. I made the terrible mistake of disrespecting my one true love.
About a year or so ago I was taking an expedition into the woods behind my old school with a few mates and my sister. We saw how trashed the place was and instead of trying our best to restore it to its natural beauty, we wrecked it even worse. There was something about the sound of a smashing liquor container that was so seemingly satisfying that we completely ignored the fact that what we were doing was tragically wrong. At the time we smiled and laughed at what we had done just as a few hooligans would. After our venture into the forest was over I went home and pondered on my actions. I felt like a disgrace after what I had done. I cried and in the following days I went back out to the woods and cleaned up the mess the four of us had caused.
We took action without thinking into the future or what would happen as a result of our mistakes.
I'm beginning to reconnect with nature, slowly. I began gardening again and I keep a few house plants around. I feel as if I could really make things change around this place, if I try hard enough. Those plants bring me joy, and we damn sure need it in a place like this.
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"Nature holds the key to our aesthetic, intellectual, cognitive and even spiritual satisfaction."
~E. O. Wilson
I deeply apologize for the slow updates lately, things are a little complicated in my life currently and even so I will continue to make updates, not only for you all but for myself as well.
