She's All That

Gabo

"Bakit ganon? Bakit kaylangan pa nyang ipamukha sa'kin na sila na? May galit ba sya sakin at gusto nya kong nasasaktan?" madamdamin kong sabi with matching hampas sa lamesa not minding kung nakatingin na sa'min yung ibang customers ng cafe la tea.

Ang sakit lang kasi. Imagine. I've been in love with this guy for so long. I've been there with him as a friend through it all. I was there. Always been there. I was happy with just being there as his friend. Pero life's a bitch. The infamous girlfriend has to tell me pa na sila na.

Anong gusto nya? I'll jump in glee? It was heart breaking kaya. I mean, why slap it in my face pa? Edi sila na! Bakit kaylangan pa nyang ipamukha? Shit lang.

So here I am, sa coffee shop habang daig ko pa ang best actress sa pag-iyak at paglalabas ng hinanakit dito sa letse kong bestfriend na walang ginawa kundi walang humpay na magpipindot sa psp nya.

"Grabe lang Gabo ha? Kung makaiyak ka kala mong naging kayo ni Lourd." he said without taking his eyes off sa psp.

Kainis. Umiiyak nako dito tas inuuna pa nya yung psp nya. Tss.

"Kaylangan mo pang idiin na hindi naging kami at hindi na magiging kami? Ang sakit kaya Jin. Bakit kaylangan na lang nya kong saktan palagi?" I said while sniffing. Inirapan ko na.

I just can't stop crying. Sobrang sakit kasi. I've been in love with Lourd for four years now. And this is not the first time I cried dahil sakanya. I mean, I tried so many times to move on but I just can't. Kung kaya ko lang dedmahin lahat ng bagay tungkol sakanya ginawa ko na, pero wala e. Mahal ko talaga.

"Bakit? Kasalanan ba nya kung bakit nasasaktan ka? Kasalanan ba nyang magkagusto ka sakanya? Kasalanan ba nyang hindi ikaw yung mahal nya?" he said and this time he was looking intently at me na.

And I was speechless. I can't even say a word. It felt like he just slapped me with his words? And this is the problem on having a bestfriend with such smart mouth. Times like this? I just really hate having a bestfriend who have such a smart mouth. And you know what's even worse? He's right. I know he's damn right pero ayokong tanggapin na mali ako. Kasi it's the only thing I'm holding on to, yung kamaliang mahal ko sya.

"You know what Gabo? Been there, done that. It's not his fault that he doesn't love you. And the hell, Alam ba nyang in love ka sakanya? Alam kong spoiled ka but we just can't have everything." he said sadly and then took a sip of his ever favorite Caramel macchiato.

That's when tears started to fall even more. I just can't take everything. It's wrong to feel this way but damn, I love Lourd so much.

With that, I stood up and left my bestfriend whose middle name's Jerk. Everything is so wrong na nga tapos he would say such things pa. Can't he just comfort me? Yun lang naman yung kaylangan ko e.

I went home and cried in my bed in front of my laptop while looking at his profile where it says:

Lourd Symoun Villegas is in a relationship with Zharm Marie Vallarta

83 Likes . 98 Comments . Share

And so to vent out my frustration, I tweeted:

@gbvjrxx

Alexis Gabrielle Vejar

Why can't it be me?

I was about to sign out when I saw my notifications.

@dauntlessjinares replied to your tweet. 2 minutes ago

I was asking the same question. But then again, that's life. Bear with it. Live with it.

I didn't bother typing anything. Kainis kaya sya. I need him to comfort me pero instead he started rubbing it in my face that Lourd doesn't love me. Alam nya ba yung feeling na yung mahal mo hindi ka mahal? Na no matter how you try, nothing will happen. Nothing will ever go right. Kasi mali, hindi meant to be.

Ughh. I just feel so bad today. I continued crying as the things that happened earlier replays in my memory. It's like the whole universe's playing a bad joke on me. Can't I just have my Damon Salvatore, so he can compel me to forget everything about Lourd? Ugh. Life is such a badass bitch. Deym. That night, I slept with a broken heart.