Message:
Effie: 2:28 in the morning
Okay so can I just talk toilet paper for a moment??
Mic: 2:28 in the morning
Okay. Shoot.
Effie: 2:30 in the morning
We use conttonelle and I absolutely love it. I love the way it feels on my bottom, and when I have blow my nose (no, I don't use the same piece, i'm not disgusting) it doesn't hurt, and it comes off the roll cleanly. It bothers me so much when there are little tidbits left on the roll after you pull of the last sheet. The last sheet isn't even a full sheet, it's garbled crap! But in the end, I just wanted to say that Cottonelle is the best toilet paper out there. Okay. Done.
Mic: 2:31 in the morning
We use... hell I don't know what we use. I just use it. As long as I can wipe, I'm good to go.
Effie: 2:32 in the morning
I love my toilet paper.
Mic: 2:34 in the morning
Toilet paper. Out of all things, we talk about toilet paper.\
Effie: 2:35 in the morning
I said I had to pee and that was the thing I noticed in the bathroom. I even forgot to put lotion on after I washed my hands because I was so preoccupied with the whole toilet paper thing.
Mic: 2:36 in the morning
I'm going to screen capture this and just re-read it over and over again. I always put germ-X on afterwards. Then wash my hands afterwards.
Effie: 2:37 in the morning
my hands are gross because of work. so I'm going nuts.
Mic: 2:37 in the morning
I am a germofobe.
Effie: 2:38 in the morning
I'm not. I'm just a fobe.
Mic: 2:39 iin the morning
I am trying so hard not to laugh so loud.
Effie: 2:39 in the morning
I'm wiping my leaking eyes with my cottonelle toilet paper.
Mic: 2:40 in the morning
I'm wiping my leaking eyes with my dog.
Just kidding
Effie: 2:40 in the morning
oh shit. oh shit oh shit oh shit.
we're the greatest ever.
THE NEXT DAY!
Mic: 3:11 in the evening
I am! But, I have to use the bathroom first
Effie: 3:12 in the evening
Toilet paper!
Mic: 3:13 in the evening
Yes it i.
is.
Effie: 3:14 in the evening
No. Nonononononononononono
Mic: 3:15 in the evening
Yes. Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes
Effie: 3:16 in the evening
Fuck you and your lack of comfort in the bathroom. I hope your toilet paper tears and you wipe your ass with your finger.
Mic: 3:18 in the evening
Oh you're such a cruel bitch.
Effie: 3:19 in the evening
I am, thank you for noticing.
Mic: 3:20 in the evening
You're the cruelest person ever. You must be Satan's wife.
Effie: 3:21 in the evening
More like his widow. I murdered him back when he wouldn't comply with my wishes to run the mafia. Now I run the mafia and the underneath.
Status:
Effie: August 10
You know it's late when you have a rant about toilet paper to your friend. ----- with Mic
Comments:
Mic: Got to love toilet paper. <3
Effie: is the best.
Mic: I just use whatever toilet paper they get. It still going to the same place. Oh my gosh, I can't believe I am talking about this on Facebook. HAHAHAHAHA.
Effie: It does matter, it always matters what kind!
Mic: You don't want that rough kind that scratches you.... I can't stop laughing at this.
Effie: I'm dying.
Mic: I have a belly ache now.
Effie: I'm wiping my leaking eyes with my cottonelle toilet paper.
Mic: We are doomed.
Effie: Should I call the asylum to prepare the cottonelle sponge room with our hug myself jackets?
Mic: I am snorting so much over here. Thanks.
Effie: Make the call.
Mic: We're gong to need it after tonight.
Effie: What if we're too crazy for an asylum?
Mic: Then we can destroy the world.
Effie: YESSSSSS
YOU ARE READING
The Legit Conversation of Effie and Mic
Non-FictionLife is funnier at 4 am. Or 2 am. Or midnight. It doesn't really matter the time when it comes to these two authors. If they knew what they were doing, maybe they'd be stand up comedians. But instead they're authors and they decided to share their c...
