Reflected through her eyes

Rita Helpless

We walked out of that store after I bought the sweater and all that Jessie and Rosella could do was pester Gilda about how she got me to do so.
I couldn't help but laugh at them the whole way to my favorite store, Take Over, all the way across the mall.
On the way I couldn't help but doze off and go back to my memories of those terrible seventh grade days.
It's because of those friends that I had back then that I am what I am today.
And as I thought over what was said and heard I began to find myself struggling not to cry about it.
'Darn it Loner, why!?' I thought to myself as we reached the store.
The second we got to the door Jessie just randomly blurted out "this isn't freaky enough to be Loners favorite store!"
I lowered my head to cover my now wet eyes with my bangs and smiled.
"You know, just because I'm dark and 'scary' doesn't mean that I'm not human. I like normal things too."
During that last sentence my voice cracked in that way that you do when you are upset and I knew that someone must have heard me.
"Rita" I heard her whisper.
I gasped, suddenly unable to breathe. My lungs begging for air but my heart couldn't stand the pain I was refeeling.
I've never felt to helpless in my life. I was confused. Why am I so upset? Why am I crying?
I felt my chest fill itself with pain for one second, but it felt like forever.
And I thought I could hear Jessie and Rosella laughing at me.
But they were only echoes. Memories.
Then I came to my senses and wiped my eyes dry.
"Why don't you guys explore? I'll be here if you need me ok?"
The girls looked surprised but wandered around anyway.
Zach giving me this kind smile then following Gilda.
I couldn't help but try thinking about what had caused me to cry.
At first I thought it was my own history that did the trick. But then again...
"Hey Loner!"
I sigh.
"What is it Rose?"
"What does this mean?"
Gee, could she sound any more snobby?
I look to the girl and she was holding up a sweater with a logo that said:
"People can't wreck me, I'm my own being and I can't be changed"
I rolled my eyes.
"It means be brave and be yourself"
I remembered the day I made that shirt.
That's right I make sweaters for this store, but honestly, some of the people who worked here were among the few who helped me after leaving my seventh grade friends behind. Along with my parents and my little sister, I like to make "inspirational" shirts for the store as thanks, and much to my surprise, people really like them.
I look around to see Gilda and Zach admiring another one of my shirts, one of the few I've actually added my name to.
Well, my nickname anyway.
I walk over to see what they thought of it.
After all, what's wrong with a little feedback?
"Rita, did you make this?" Zach asked just as I got there.
I watched as Gilda traced her hand along my signature.
"Yup, I do a lot of shirts and sweaters for the store, the people here were very helpful to me before so I like to make stuff for them. Earn them some money."
Zach nodded.
Gilda looked at me, right into my eyes with intense curiosity.
"What do you mean they were helpful?"
I sigh, on the verge of crying again, Jessie and Rosella coming up behind us.
"That shirt your holding just might explain everything for you."