There are times it hurts.
It hurts a lot to see your name,
Hear your name,
And especially to
Say your name.
There are times it hurts so much
That I can't hold back the tears.
I have to cry and let it out,
For if I didn't,
I wouldn't be here right now.
There are times I ask myself,
"Why don't I delete you from my life?"
And the answer to that is very simple.
I can't.
That's why I don't.
While your name does bring pain,
It brings happiness with it.
There are times I cry.
Not because I'm sad,
But because I think of the old days,
Where we
Laughed,
Loved,
Lived,
And more importantly,
Talked.
There are times I think back
And smile at the things you said.
The times you brought me up,
Helped me with whatever I needed,
And I helped you the best I could.
There are times I want to scream,
For I feel I have lost you,
And I feel there's no getting you back.
I don't think there is an us any more.
It hurts to think like that.
It really does.
So I try not to,
But sometimes
I can't stop.
No matter how hard I try.
There are times I've picked up my phone,
Wrote a huge text,
And deleted it,
In fear you would
Look down at me,
Frown at me,
Laugh at me,
Make fun of me.
I never felt like this before.
It brings me to an interesting question.
Have I changed? Or have you?
Or have we both?
There are times I lay awake,
Smiling at our jokes:
"I don't want no sushi!"
"He died!"
"Darkness, redness, whiteness!"
"Bastard child."
There are times I wish I could talk to you again
Without it getting awkward.
I know this shall never come,
But sometimes, life has many
Surprises.
Fate strikes at
Random
Times, and maybe she can bring
Us
Back together.
Just as best friends this time.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
I know you will read this,
But I don't know your reaction.
Will you cry at the memories?
Laugh at my stupidity?
What will happen?
I don't know.
And there are times
That making you happy
Is all that matters to me.
So answer me this:
Is me staying away making you happy?