Soup, Blondy, and the Great Llama Race

This is my English II Short Story assignment. It was completely random so I hope you like it! Don't forget to comment/vote! I love you fans! <3

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‘Twas a not-so-very-cold day in Epicworld in the year 7193. In fact, it was more a hot day. Soup, who was a lanky, awkward fellow of about fifteen years, invited his friend Blondy, who was also skinny, but taller and more… blonde, and also fifteen, over because on such a hot day, life was boring. After three very short minutes debating over what they should do, Soup said with a slightly annoying, bad British accent, “We should have a llama race!”

            Casey, Soup’s seventeen-year-old and very lazy brother, screamed louder than a ‘choo’-‘choo’ train, “A llama race? Oh, you’re a disgrace! That is absurd you useless turd!”

            Blondy replied with an intense voice, “Yes! A llama race is what we’ll do! They’re fun to race and they don’t moo!”

            So Soup and Blondy got up from the doll-sized table at which they were debating oh so quietly while taking their daily bacon shots. They went to the gigantic EPICstore to purchase the llamas that they wanted.

            “A purple one! With lasers too! That’s what I want. How about you?”

            “Very nice, Soup my friend. This severed idea, only time will mend… A blue and silver llama I want... with giant grappling hooks in the front!”

            When they had made their so very awesome decisions, the nearest employees all fought viciously and ferociously to get to Soup and Blondy first. A man named Higa, Ryan Higa, who was a Japanese-American web comedian of about twenty years, won the fight.

            “May I interest you in any racing llamas?” he asked with a small ‘Teehee’. “Oh! And please ignore any unnecessary commas!”

            “Precisely why we’re here!” they exclaimed. “Pee-Ess, you kinda smell like beer…”

            Finally Soup and Blondy had their epic llamas of choice. They rode back, a quick ride, on them, to Soup’s backyard that was as big as the Epicworld Capitol building!

            “Ready, set, and go! Hurry up! Don’t be that slow!” Blondy shouted, very excited to be winning. Soup took off behind him, running his llama backwards, using the llama’s laser vision for a giant boost. Halfway to the finish line, the epic llamas were neck and butt. Suddenly, the purple, laser llama howled with tremendous pain.

            “What was that horrendous noise? It was worse than the Backstreet Boys!”

            Glancing around anxiously to find the source of the ear-piercing scream, Blondy saw a zombie llama chewing on Soup’s epic llama’s front leg like a hyper squirrel on an acorn.

            “Soup! Quick! Hop on with me! Faster! Hurry! We need to get free!”

            So using his epic ninja skills, Soup hopped off the epic purple (now zombie) llama, did several unnecessary awesome and epic kicks and flips while in the air, and landed on Blondy’s blue and silver llama.

            “I’m on! Come on! So, now let’s flee! I know the thing that’ll get us free”

            “I know Soup. I am not stupid. I am like… epic racing’s cupid? I know, I know. That was a bad word. So, yeah. Let’s go. I’m a rapper. Word!”

            Soup laughed heartedly at Blondy’s antics and pulled out a semi-automatic M-16 and shot every last one of the zombie llamas that now filled the gigantic field.

            “Ah! I guess we didn’t need this… With this, oh boy! We would never miss!”

            Blondy put away his AK-47 and laughed like Santa.

            So in the end, good prevailed over zombies, no one won the llama race they now called the Great Llama Race, and there was born a new breed of llamas.  Epic Llamas are what they are called by the owners. So, anyway, Soup and Blondy were no longer bored. So, thus ends my crazy story.