Behind Golden Eyes [boyxboy] (On Hold Temporarily)

chapter 8

Ryder's POV

After a few seconds, I finally pulled Jay out of the closet. Not like that (unfortunately). Although, his utter denial thing has been cute, my wolf wasn't satisfied. He wanted more, more than Jay would (willingly) allow, and it's been slowly getting to the both of us. I mean, how would you feel if the love of your life, your mate, was in arms reach and yet they pushed themselves away giving you no other answer than "reasons"? Well, I'll tell you... it's torturous! When he rejected me, I at first felt completely broken, but I wasn't giving up on him, not now. I knew how he truly felt and I planned to do whatever it took to make him mine. I knew agreeing to go out with his best friend was a really dick move, and I felt terrible about it. In actuality, I didn't plan for any of that to happen. Believe me when I say I would never intentional hurt Jay (or anyone for that matter), but, in that moment, my inner wolf sensed my desperation and took over. You see, a mate means everything to a wolf, it's their other half, a part of themselves they would die without. He had to be mine. So when I noticed Jay get jealous about my hanging with Molly, I was overjoyed. Something told me to push even more, to test him, to tease him further. So I ended up kissing Molly. It wasn't the greatest decision, but like I said, none of what happened was planned. I regretted kissing her immediately after, considering I always knew about her feelings towards me. I understand I'm an asshole at times, a con of being a hormonal teenage werewolf. That understanding, sadly, didn't stop me from being the kind of wolf that wanted to push further to get what I wanted, which was to get Jay to admit what I desired him to. I was being manipulative, and what's worse was that wasn't even like me. I have always been the one to put others first; the one who thought ahead, never half-assing anything. Yes, I could be the occasional prick but that's besides the point. The point was those were the skills that I needed to master in order to be a good alpha. No, a great alpha, an alpha kind of like my father.

I shook my head, ridding my mind of those thoughts. I turned to Jay whose eyes were trained on me. My heart pounded a little faster at the sheer blue beauty of them. I wanted to lean forward, just a little, just enough to raise his heart like mine, but then I remembered the reason I pulled him into the classroom: Someone was killing werewolves, not just in our tribe/pack but in others too. What makes matters worse is that no one has identified the culprit and there are multiple scents found at every scene and they're leading in this direction. Since I was away from the main tribe, I needed to keep my small pack safe, to keep Jay safe. I couldn't let them hurt my family, not again.

"Jay, back to what I was talking about earlier, you need to be careful" I warned quietly.

"What, is the big bad Ryder afraid?" He mocked, full smirk on his face.

"This is serious Jay!" I said, unknowingly using my alpha voice.

His smirk disappeared at my tone and he cowered a bit. Guilt overwhelmed me and I calmed my voice again.

"Just...be careful, please?"

He nodded, allowing me to give a weak smile. My smile then turned into a chuckle as I noticed the bite mark I seemed to have left. Jay lifted a brow, questioning my sudden outburst of laughter. Trying to control myself, I pointed at the bite. He tilted his head to see, which only made me laugh harder. He walked toward a mirror (that was conveniently placed nearby) and saw my masterpiece. His face reddened and I could instantly smell the embarrassment and rage seeping off him. He spun around and glared daggers at me, forcing me to run out the door completely hysterical. I was given weird looks as I bolted through the hallways with an angry Jay on my tail. I allowed him to catch me out of a mix of pity and amusement. Feeling a tight grip on my wrist, he roughly forced me against the nearest wall. His hands clenched my jacket as he continuously glared. He was probably plotting on how to kill me in several painful ways. I laughed again taking pleasure in being manhandled for the second time today. Man, if looks could kill.