Lilac is an uninspired girl who is on the brink of being kicked out of art school, her only chance at any successful future (although it isn't very bright in the first place). She about ready to just give up when she meets Sky, a girl who doesn't ha...
As the rain taps againts my window, I wonder if I will ever succeed in life.
I've always been a failure, from my bad grades throughout elementary and high school, to my being kicked out of my preeschool dance class, and just disappointing my mother in general.
Art school is my only chance at a successful future, so I can't get kicked out. I'm already getting terrible grades, and I'm late to every class. I can't fail. I can't get kicked out. I can't give my mother another reason to be disappointed in me, I just couldn't bear it.
I sigh, taking a sip of my coffee.
I just wish I could find some inspiration.
I look over at my easel and paint supplies, grimacing at my earlier attempts at "modern art". One piece is a swirl of different shades and tints of blue, started off unmixed and swirling together in the middle. I think it would've looked fine, but I overdid it by splattering white paint over it. As it turns out, the blue paint wasn't dry, so it just kind of mixed in, and then slowly dripped onto the rags beneath the easel. Another price was an attempt at a the silhouette of a tree, it's leaves turning into birds, but I fucked up the birds really bad, and the tree branches are too thick.
A blank canvas rests on my easel, begging to be turned into art. But I have no ispiration, no idea what to do with it.
Im useless and untalented. I don't know why I even decided to go to art school.
After a few more minutes of self loathing, I decide to go to the museum to try and get my creative juices flowing. The museum is only a few minutes away from my apartment, but I decide to get a cab since it's still pouring outside. I grab my small netbooks and a pen, and pull on my raincoat and docs before heading outside. I'm too lazy to do makeup, and I just pull up my hair into a messy bun.
Since there's no one really out, it's pretty easy to catch a cab, and I'm at the museum in about 5 minutes.
When I enter, I'm immediately met with a gust of arm air, which I greatly appreciate, and take off my coat. I head straight up he stairs and into the modern art wing, slowly walking down the halls, my notebook and pen clutched in my hand.
Suddenly, I stop in my tracks, staring at a painting. I just can't tear my eyes away. I sit down on one of the padded benches in front of the artwork, not taking my eyes off of it.
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I am in complete awe at the beauty of it, the emmence detail and lack of color leading into the perfectly messy colors, the texture you can feel with out even touching it, and the emotion and feeling of it in general.
Then I remember to breath, closing my mouth, which I just realize was agape the whole time.
'This', I think, 'is true art. This is what I want to do.'
I try to do a quick sketch of the piece, just to keep the shape and ideas in my head- I don't think I'll ever be able to forget it.
I walk around for a few more minutes, but nothing else catches my eye the same way, and I decide to head home. It's no longer raining, so I walk. The cold air is more refreshing than pinching, and I walk slowly so I can enjoy it. I'll have to remember to open my window when i get home.
When I finally do arrive at my apartment, I go straight to my easel. I organize my acrylics and brushes, putting on my Painting Shirt, opening the window, and getting to work. I first try to sketch out a girl from the neck down, one of her arms outstretched slightly, a finger out weakly as if to be pointing towards something. I then move to the face, sketching it out messily, as it won't actually be shown, I'm only sketching it to make sure I know where exactly the messy colorful paint should go. I start adding more detail with pencil, and then decide to take a break, stepping back to examine my work. The proportions on the arm and hands are a little off, but I can fix that later. I'm quite proud, and decide to treat myself to some Ramen, humming as i walk into the kitchen.
