There he sat in the top right corner of the class, Harry Styles, the boy of my dreams. With his curls and perfect smile and dimples I dont see how anyone could not like him. He was perfect.
You see I have been crushing on Harry since the seventh grade but I dont even think hes ever even noticed me. Harry is the captain of the football team and im sure if he even got caught looking at me his popularity would be gone, vanish into an abyss. The people Harry hangs around with are all the popular preppy types who are all Jocks and have money, Harry is a Jock and he has a lot of money, hundreds possibly even thousands im sure Harry's dad runs some big business so they are practically rich. Harry's friends are all pretty much bullies. Harry on the other hand barely even talks to anyone besides his friends and ive never really saw him bully anyone hes usually just standing in the back.
Me and Harry are totally different though and im sure hes straight so I dont think me and him would ever work out. Im pretty much poor also, so Harry would probably look at me like a peasant if he noticed me. I try to stay quiet and keep to myself I barely talk to anyone and im usually sitting in the back of the room so Nobody will notice me.
The bell rings so I quickly grab my things and hurry out of class trying to stay unnoticed. I here someone behind me laughing so I pick up my pace. It sounds like one of Harry's so called friends Jefree who has been tormenting me for as long as I can remember. He usually just calls me some homophobic name and pushes me and it rarely ever bothers me im used to this kind of thing.
"Hey fagot" I here him call from behind me. I dont dare look back, I act like I didnt here him and start walking faster. This is my free period so its not like I can slip into a class room. "Hey im talking to you" he calls from inches behind me. I know its coming and I cant do nothing. Im a twig compared to him, well compared to anybody truthfully.
I feel a hand grab the collar of my shirt and pull me back. Nobody is in the hallway but me and him. I still havent turned around.
"You should really get your ears checked fagot" He says as he turns me around. I freeze, behind him was Harry, looking right at me. Jefree says something but I dont catch it im to busy looking at Harry who doesnt say anything he just stands there watching.
"Fagot I asked you something" Jefree says breaking my concentration.
"What" I ask looking at the ground.
"I asked why you were staring at Harry all period fag"
I froze again this time Harry looks up right at me expecting and answer that I wouldnt dare unveil.
"I was j-just looking" I mutter.
"Well dont look anymore fagot. Harry doesnt like gays like you and im sure even if you werent straight he would hate you still" Jefree says. It kills me. My eyes start to water but I dont dare cry. I see Harry, he looks like he wants to say something but he doesnt.
"What are you gonna do cry fag" Jefree asks smirking at me.
"n-no" I mutter my voice cracks and he laughs.
"Well this is what you get" he says. A sharp pain surges in my stomach and I fall to the ground, Jefree punched me.
"You should really just die, I mean you have nothing to live for, You live in a shit house your family doesnt seem to give a shit about you and ive saw the cuts on your arms you should just push a little harder next time" Jefree says.
He laughs and then he walks away. I get up and run I go where I always go. The janitors closet. Nobody ever goes in there and ive pretty much mad it my own little private place. I always come here when im upset or when im gonna cry. The door opens with a squeak and I slip inside the dark room.
I pull up my sleeve and trace the scars on my arm. Maybe you should push harder. A voice in my head tells me. I think it over and over. It wouldnt even matter if I did. Im sure nobody would even find me until it was too late. I could get away with it I have everything I need hidden in this room.
I quickly pull out the blade ive seen way to many times. It doesnt even hurt to do it anymore, I just do it until im numb. I used to say I would only do it once but that turned into twice and that turned into three times but now I do it atleast ten times.
I watch at the blood streams out. I didnt bother pushing harder it doesnt even matter i will just do the same tomorrow.
The bell rings and I here everyone enter the halls to go to lunch, I can see all the shadows under the door from people walking by and I laugh to myself thinking about how they dont know im in here and probably dont even think of it.
But one shadow stops. My breath hitches and I quickly start to wipe the blood from my arm up as the door knob turns. Im blinded by the light from the hallway and a tall man enters the room shutting the door behind him and tunring the light on.
Its Harry.
{Okay so this first chapter is really bad and sucky but it will get better I just need to fill in some stuff. I did have the already wrote but I deleted it :( Im sorry if theres any mistakes I will update soon.
Love you all
-Jason}
