the book of poetry

Masks // Entry One.

Masks.

We're dressed in black from head to toe and nobody knows just where to go. So we sit in a circle passing ideas around about the things we found to help us identify just where the smile ends and where our sadness begins. And we can't seem to find it, so we cover it up with our masks that we got for free because we can't be just who we want to be.

So we wait.

We wait for our lives to start to matter. We wait for our purpose to appear like some sort of magic show that we bought tickets to. Except that we didn't buy tickets, and we our magician never showed. But that's okay because we're just about used to it now, being blown off and being showed off are all the same now. But that's okay, that's perfect. Because they tell us that one day all of our sadness will be worth it.

Yeah we're all dressed in black from head to toe and nobody knows just where to go. So we sit in a circle passing ideas around about the things we found to help us identify just where the smile ends and where our sadness begins. And we can't seem to find it, so we cover it up with our masks that we got for free because we can't be just who we want to be.

It's hard sometimes to pretend everything's okay. It hard to accept the fact that you're gone and now it's all wrong, I don't feel okay anymore. The first time you left a hole inside of me I was never whole again until the next year when school began again. I never hated you for that, you're the one person that I have a lack of self control with. So the second time you came knocking at my door, I let you in. I let you in with open arms and maybe I shouldn't have. Maybe I should've left you out there in the cold until we grew old, but when we grew old it would not be together.

But I did let you in and you made yourself at home. You played around with the shiny stitched up heart you found, you laughed at my gullibility you smiled at my creativity, but most of all you lied to me. You lied to me.

And now you're gone and it feel so wrong that I would do anything to pull you back here with me and pull me up out of my drowning sea of sadness and depression. You were my anchor in the crystal clear ocean of love but then you set me free and I just can't believe you'd do that to me again.

I already know when I see you next all my feelings will be tested, how can I rest when whenever I see you I see your lips and think of when we last kissed. I see your eyes and think of how they crinkled to move their way away from the dimples that appeared whenever you'd smile. I see your arms and remember how it's been awhile since we last hugged. It's such a cold feeling to have sit inside you and wait for whenever you least expect it; to attack.

Yeah we're dressed in black from head to toe and nobody knows just where to go. So we sit in a circle passing ideas around about the things we found to help us identify just where the smile ends and where our sadness begins. And we can't seem to find it, so we cover it up with our masks that we got for free because we can't be just who we want to be.

That's okay, that's perfect because I'm okay, I'm perfect. Cause one day it'll all be worth it. And one day I'll look back, I'll remember you and I'll remember how I over came your little games and how I won.

I will win your game I just have to learn the rules. But I wish you luck at winning mine because my mask doesn't come in your size and I will not be taking any advice from you.

Because I'm perfectly fine with my all black outfits. I'm perfectly fine with my confusion and my mask that fits me perfectly.

And I'd sure as hell take that any day over you.