The Swirly Biscuit Carry on

the only part

it was a normal day at school. it was happy... actually no it wasn't happy because its school but it was a decent day at school. the day was going well, it was dinner time at school and all day everyone was talking. I decided to go in to mega sh*tes and get the famous swirly biscuit, ( I dont actually know why everyone likes them because they taste like they've been left out for a week, which they probably have, but they are always like proper like damp or whatever. they taste like you know when you leave the packet of biscuits open in the house and you go back, say tomorrow or something and they've gone soft but not in a nice way, like in a proper mingin way and you don't really want to eat it so you chuck it away and get one from the bottom... well that's what they taste like.) carrying on, I decided to get a swirly biscuit. when I got back to my friends, about 10 metres away or so, the bell went and it was time to get out of mega sh*tes and go to reg. I was walking out and 'my fellow peer' who shall not be named turned around and her quite full backpack knocked my biscuit out of my hand,  I never even started eating it. I wasn't even bothered because, like I say, theyre not that nice. 'my fellow peer' turned around and said, "what have you dropped your biscuit for?" and I was like, "because you knocked it out of my hand with your bag by accident" and she was like "erm not I didn't I was at the door" and I was like "yes you did but it was an accident and im not bothered anyway" and we carried on walking outside where she was like " what are you lying for, you always make lies up an im sick because you always lie about me man your making it up" and she was just saying things like that and she was actually doing my head in and I was like, sort of joking but not really, "shut up or I might end up hitting you" and she started pushing me and said "what are you doing man!" bearing in mind she had a boot thing on her bad leg so she was practically disabled so I wasn't going to hit her anyway because isn't it like illegal or something. I was just annoyed about the way she was going on like what are you even doing man!?. so I go to reg and you know do nothing like you do in reg. I goes to my next lesson, which is quite funny because it was textiles again 😂. I burst through the door, and I say, "never fear, Ruth is here!!!!! . bow down peasants!!!!!!!!!" and everyone looks at me and goes, "oh my god , shes here, shes my idol, shes my hero!"... well that's a lie but I thought I should keep that part in because I feel like tis story is getting a bit boring, but oh well. I sits down in my usual seat and my friend tells me what 'my fellow peer' has been saying in reg, she said " shes a liar and she always makes empty threats saying shes going to hit me and when I tell her to, she wont" bearing in mind I said "i might end up hitting you" NOT that I was actually going to hit her. anyway she is the one making empty threats, acting like the big lad, acting hard and that when shes never had a fight in her whole life.

THE END!!!! 😂 :)

Written by the one and only, Judith/Ruth the great and powerful!