The meaning behind oj

Number 2

The world slowed all around me. I could feel the pounding in my chest. It was so strong it felt like someone was trying to escape, lord knows I was. Sitting in the plastic chair in a room full of fucked up kids was making it worse. The tension could be cut with a sharp fingernail. What was Prozac supposed to do anyway? Make me magically better? Sorry but I don't believe in magicians but nice try! It was my second in patient stay and I was only on my first day in. I felt like I had been hit by a train. Hell I had tried. I wanted to get out so bad. Out of this shit hole we call a world.

*ONE WEEK EARLIER*

Being pushed helps most people. I can't be pushed. If I am to succeed I have to get there on my own. My mother likes to think there is no ledge but once you push far enough the ledge becomes visible. I cried my heart out. My head pounds as I shake. All I want is a glass of the hardest we can find. That's all I need. I'll calm down and it will stop the pain. If I can't have a pill god damnit I'll need a drink. Alcohol and drugs have been such a big role in my life. I remember the first hit I took in sixth grade to the last OxyContin I took. Trying to quit is so fucking hard. It will drive you insane.

"I just need one drink, please." My friend wanted to quit. I decided enough is enough. Bad choice. Cold turkey becomes freezing turkey real quick. Saray looked at me broken, "We are just quitting drugs anyways right?" Sweat beading on foreheads. I nodded and pulled out the cups. Alcohol in itself is a hard drug. Anything to get us out of the pain. We drank until it nothing was even real. I fell asleep on her kitchen table. Luckily her parents were on a weekend retreat in Chicago.

*ONE WEEK AHEAD*

I sighed when the circle turned to me. Aubrey looked at me, a bored look on her face. "Good morning, Chloe!" I laughed and the staff member sitting in the corner scowled at me. "Good morning Aubrey," the room became silent. Aubrey looked down at the paper in her hand, "how was your morning? Do you want to talk about it?" "I had an okay morning and there isn't anything to talk about. We all eat the same breakfast, brush our teeth the same, we do everything the same." Days are always extremely routine. "Can you tell me to things you want to work on?" I smirked, "well I can but-" the staff member interrupted me rudely, "look ladies, I know this isn't fun but you're all here because you couldn't be safe and healthy in the real world. So with that can we all please follow the unit rules and be respectful." I sighed, " my mood is like a 4 and no I don't want the stupid song." They don't listen to the the last remark and scream the song anyways "WE HOPE YOUR DAY GETS BETTER, WE ARE HERE FOR YOU, STAY STRONG, AIR HUGS!!!!" As if I want your stupid air hugs. So hospitals have a zero touching policy. Instead you can stand three feet apart and air hug. How fun.