Late afternoon, I had just seen a man in the park, he was sobbing talking to some lady, she handed him a rag to dry his eyes. Before i could reach the other side of the road the man was already speeding off in a sexy 60s Impala.
Everyone has their stories. I wanted to know his. I wanted to know why he was crying, what had happened, because well he seemed alone. Nobody needs to be a lone.
I continued to creep my way down the cracked sidewalk. I dont think they have maintained this half of the town. It was as grey as an old film, dull, hazey and full of the vast nothingness. That man had made me realize that maybe we are all just suffering, that this is one huge punishment. For what? Maybe the things we have done in our past lives...
The sun was almost down and the gravel crunched under my sneakers. That sound was relieving, I knew I was home when I heard that. I knew I could go to my room and just sleep. The Insomnia was getting very vexing and quite a nuisance.
I stepped over the threshold of the front door and could hear them at it again. The loud scream of mom and grandma fighting. It was all so trivial, no point in arguing with a mad mind. I trugged myself up the stairs into my closet like room not even bothering to turn on the light. The dull remnants of the sun was enough light. Slowly I pulled the record from the box beside the dresser, like clockwork I let the needle drop onto that frisbee of a record.
There was always something about the sweet hiss of the turntable. I don't know, it just felt right.It always felt right.
I tried to drown out the screams bleeding out of the livingroom itno here with the sweet sound of Jerry Garcias voice. It made me happy. They talked of peace and love, the things I wanted. I remember the protests of the war, I was maybe five or six, but I remember dad telling me about how hippies are just trash, that I the war would soon be over and theyd crawl back to the trashcan they came from.
It finally ended when I turned 10. 1975. Just a few weeks after my birthday.
It was great, the war was gone, which meant he got to come back, Gabriel had always taken care me when we were younger. I loved my older brother. He was the one who made dad go away. He made it better when it seemed like it never would.
Those days were nice, before any real problems happened.
Everything felt good, Gabe was home, school was fun, and dad wasnt spending nights having fun with his friends, Jim, Jack, and Jose.
I slowly fell asleep. Finally, a decent sleep.
My neck felt stiff in the morning and the sound of the record still spinning filled my head. Another day. Just another day going to a boring school. My classes seemed longer than they should be. Summer was almost near and I would be free.
They all thought I was crazy during the summer I would enroll in one of those schools that went all year round except for Sundays. I would be one of the first people at Mule Deer high to graduate a year early.
The days slowly turned into weeks, they burned up faster than a cheap cigarette. All of my highschool years were spent trying to get out of there. I hated that town. It was just a black pit of depression and oppression.
Two weeks. Two sweet weeks of freedom until I went back to school to finish my Senior year nine months before everyone else. It was perfect. With graduating so early colleges would love to have me, I could be a somebody and get out of here like Gabe did.
A doctor. It suited him, always helping and wanting to help. The boy had passion. Everything he did was passionate, loving, hating, fighting. He was a soldier, but not a slave. He was a medic during the war, he knew enough to save lives. Gabe knew it'd be his career.
Perhaps I could study for what I'm good at. I'm not really good at many things, but what I did know I was passionate about, Gabe rubbed off on me. Maybe music, maybe mechanics, I honestly had no clue.
Ah yes, a fresh suit. I loved the way a nice ironed suit fitted me. Just so smooth and classy. The day went quick, it was so painless and familiar. The first month went by so quick I do not even remember most of it.
Tuesday. The second Tuesday of the month and I was two credits away from graduating. Freedom was going to taste so sweet, like the taste of a fresh red apple. When that day came I could not have been any happier. Content at the mind a smile graciously plagued my face the whole day. I may not have been a valedictorian or salutatorian but I did it. I got through the easiest part of life faster than anyone else had.
Sixteen and done with highschool. Felt like I was on top of the mountain. I was the first girl to do so which made it even better. The night of graduation was really nice, Gabe came out to see me and take me to breakfast. We spent the whole day out on the town until 5 when we gassed it to the house.
"Mooooom!" Gabe said as he raised his voice stepping into the kitchen through the beat up screen door that had been there years before . Her response was casual, not too surprised but delighted. Gabriel had left home for school three years after he came home from the war. Eight long years the house was lacking his joyous glow. I missed it.
I had ran up the old flight of stairs and into my room effortlessly flipping an old album on to the turn table. The two caught up whilst I was getting ready. Elvis. I found the brick-like disk inside of the attic when we first moved in. The hiss filled my heart with happiness and i slid into my favourite red dress. It had sleeves and covered almost every inch of my body. I am still not the type to show myself off. Respect for myself was one of the many virtues I gained from Gabe. Damn. He was dressed in his nicest suit and ready to kill. Gabriel was the only reason I actually wanted to walk. Dad was too busy with his lady friends. He wasn't an honest man and mom knew that, but a divorce would make the two look awful. The two just never wore rings or mentioned one another. Mom was not the best person either, never really showed emotions, very plain and boring. hOw those two had great kids I have no idea, but hey there's no reason to complain.
After I had gotten my diploma and the ceremony crept to an end there would be a dance, a huge party to celebrate our accomplishment. I didn't have anyone to really dance with, I kept to myself and my teachers. Everyone was either a patriotic close-minded cynical mess of immaturity or a complacent bastard. There wasn't much variety in a school of only 113 students.
Gabe and i ended up dancing the night away and having fun, most looked at us strangely, not sure if we were just platonic or romantic. One gal came up to us and asked who he was. She looked shocked when i told her he was my brother. It shouldn't have hit her like that, we look so much alike, when we were younger people thought we were twins. The thought made me sick, the thought of having any other relationship with Gabe other than platonically.
After about two hours it got to be boring, we decided to leave that ramshackle of a gym to go home. I slid into the front seat of his Lincoln Continental, it was a light pink and a bit roughed up but it was a vehicle. It did the job. The drive home was very short, but we did stop for gas.
I saw it again, that same 60 something Impala. I cautiously got out of the cab and told Gabe i needed to go use the restroom.
There I saw him, white shirt filled with grease and dirty blue jeans with a blonde beauty at his side. I approached with caution and gently tapped the mans shoulder. "Excuse me, but is that your Impala out there?" I spoke nervously, i am not a people person at all. "Yes 'mam, 67'" His tone was friendly and by his appearance he was a mechanic. "I have seen that same model around before by the park, well that was months ago, around March. I didn't get the chance to ask about it, you sped away." My voice was rusty and crackly. Not a very nice first impression, especially if he was a local mechanic hiring. "Ahh yeah, that might have been me, but it's a popular model and colour." His tone changed, like he knew I knew something, like i saw him crying. The evidently pregnant woman grabbed his hand and smiled. "Alright, well thank you for your time." I was nervous around new people and i looked stupid talking to them. Really stupid and awkward. I sped away as quick as I could without being too awkward.
The heel of my shoe got hung up on the carpet of Gabes' car, but it was trivial.
As we crept up the drive he turned off his headlights to not wake anyone up. We walked into that familiar sound of grandma yelling at mom for no reason. We stepped into the den ignoring them like we did when we were younger.
"So what are you going to do? Go to college?" Gabe questioned as we sat at the card table in the corner. "No idea, I just want out of here ya know?"
"Youre bright, go to school like I did, you will love it!" His tone was encouraging.
"I like the idea of that, maybe in a year, take a break and let life settle in for a bit." There was a slight pause as i hesitated to tell him. "So I've been working with Lori at the diner for a couple years and I have saved up enough to get a flat, get out of this house." The words flowed smoother than I expected them to.
"That's great! You should find a cheap one if you want to go to school."
I smiled and looked over to the living room when the sound of a broken lamp hit the wall.
Gabriel shot up and ran in to the room to see what was happening and i followed.
His hands were around her throat squeezing the life out of her "The fuck are you doing?" Gabe was trying to pull dad off of mom but he was too strong, effortlessly Gabe grabbed the vase of daisys from the window sill and whacked him over the head in hopes to knoack him out, but the blow wasnt enough, in one quick motion who i though was my father grabbed the knife from his dirty worn out work boot and jabbed at Gabe, the dull blade caught the side of his arm, it was a dull blade but oh god there was so much blood. Mom layed down unconscious in a mangled mess against the wall. I ran to the kitchen to dial 911, I kept hearing Dad shout at him telling him how he ruined everything, that now hed have to kill Gabe too, then me.
"911 what's your emergency?" The mans voice was soft "My fathers gone mad, he is trying to kill my family!" My voice was shaky for I was trying to be quiet. "Hold on hun, I'll need your adress, keep calm and hide, until a squad shows up." He spoke as if this was nothing. As I continued to tell him where we were at I heard a gunshot, the ringing still haunts me to this day, it made me cringe.
The line went blank so I rushed out to see what had happened, the door leading intoo the den had a bullet hole. Again, another riging came about as he shot twice into the door shouting "I'll fucking kill you!" He was covered in Gabes blood and the smell of alcohol was present. I ran to tend to mom and in about two minutes of him shouting and not noticing me the sound of sirens grew closer. "Fuck!" He yelled as he turned around to the sight of me crying and giving mom chest compressions. I knew she was gone, I just couldnt face it, I couldnt think that just yet. I wasnt going to let her die because of him. "Another rat to kill" He slured, that chamber should have been empty by now.
He pulled a whole clip out of his back pocket and as he failed to load it Gabe came in with a bat, with one swift swing he dropped the man. The crack of the iron to the skull made me scared, along with the thud of his body hitting the floor. The bat was instantly dropped.
I couldnt help but to cry as i tried to help mom, Gabe checked for vitals and grabbed my arm pulling me off. He didn't have any tears yet. In the midst of being locked in the room Gabe wrapped his jacket around his wounds. He was evidently weak, dropping to his knees I grabbed him and help his body as he bled and began to sob. My brother, the one who took care of me was in my arms bleeding to death. All of my family is gone. All in one night. Why? Why me? Why now? "Sissy, I want you to be strong for me, I'll be okay, I'm just hurt. That's all. I just need stitches.Keep fighting, Alway keep fighting." Gabe told me as he breathed heavy. The moment was horrifying, I couldnt tell if he was lying or not. "No" I sobbed "I can't go with out you, you're my big brother, were supposed to stick together Gabe.." My words were hard to make out. Icouldnt be content knowing I was going to lose my brother. There was so much blood, he couldnt live through this. He didnt respond, i felt the weight of his whole body, he was out of it. I let him die... I let my brother die. I failed, he had kept me alive and i was supposed to do the same.
My sobbing grew louder and the blood stained my dress with the dark red on the bright red. This was it. I had lost everything I had. The siren sound was loud and four men ran into the room, two medics and two police men.
I didnt want to let go of Gabe, but the men slowly forced me away, still sobbing I could see mom laying there and dad 10 feet away laying out cold covered in Gabes stale blood.
"Mam, we need you to come over here." A lady in a blue blazer had softly spoken. I didnt pay any attention to anything other than the amount of blood everywhere. I let it happen. I let dad hurt them. i should have ran upstairs and grabbed the 45. I could have saved Gabes life and moms.
About five minutes of silent crying the lady from before had tried to talk to me as I watched the medics take Gabe away on a gurney, they had let a man take a quick photograph first. I assume he was from the press. The other team of medics showed up to take mom away. "I know what just happened is really scary, but we will make it better, thats what we do." She was just trying to help and I knew that. "Are you a detective?" I forced out through my tears. "Yes , I'm here to comfort people too. My name is Lauren." She had softly touched my clean shoulder leading me outside. The creak of the porch steps made me realize that this was real. All of it. This was not a nightmare. Gabe was really gone and so was mom.
"Hey Samuel there's another body back here, no vitals." He said it like a casual thing, like a greeting. "That's grandma.." I softly spoke.
"Hun, when ever you are ready you can tell me what happened, take your time." Her voice hit my ears like a birds chip. I could hear it it, but it was like white noise.
I sat there on the gravel watching them pull grandmas body out. "Can I go with my brother? I really cant leave him. I just cant." I sobbed. "Im afraid not, they will be in the ambulance trying to help him and you wont want to see that nasty mess." She was kind. i rested my head in my hands trying to calm down. She pestered again, "When ever you're ready.". I looked up and told her with a cold stare "If you take me to the hospital to see Gabe I'll tell you what happened." My breath was as heavy as the muggy air.
Lauren walked us to a squad car and gave me a can of water and a scratchy blanket. I sat upfront and waited as she told who I am assuming is her chief that she was going to talk to me and take me to see my brother. I mindlessly glared out of the window as she started the car and popped the clutch to put it in gear.
"Your dress is very pretty were you at the graduation?" she spoke as we pulled out of the driveway. "Yeah, I graduated early, I'm only sixteen." My voice was scratchy and flat. "We came home from the dance afterward, talkeed had fun, caught up." I remember those words he said. Always keep fighting. I knew I had to tell the cops what had happened sooner or later. "So he took you to gradutaion?" she just tried to keep me calm. "Yeah. I don't have many friends, theyre all too smug at that school, private school, Mule Deer, you heard of it?" I trembled. "Yes, my niece goes there, Sandra Banks, you know her?"
"Her and i are opposites." I softly spoke. "She's cheer captain and I'm the one hiding under the stands with all the goths selling to the potheads and watching them fumble about in the dark."
"It's so weird, you think youre on top of the world then your whole world is gone."
"Hey, we should stop by the mall and get you a clean outfit," I cut her off "It's Gabes blood, you can have the dress for evidence or whatever." "Ok."
The ride to the mall was silent. As we pulled into the vacant lot she asked for sizes and what style. Such a nice cop, most would have made me change at the house. I couldnt get over it. Gabe was probably going to die. I tried to busy my mind with sweet memories of him. When he came back from the war I remember him taking me to the park, pushing me on the swings and taking me to go get a milkshake afterwards. A sunny spring day. The trees were in boom and all was well. The skies were as blue as my jeans, there were soft white clouds poking around and baby birds learning to fly. That soon turned to the one where he took me to my first day of school and I about broke his heart, I didnt want to let go because I knew he would have to go away for a long time and fight. I still have all the letters and pictures he sent me. He taught me to read, to write. He took care of me like how moms and dads were suppose to.
The memories flowed through my head, I didnt notice but I was crying. I was going to miss my big brother.
Lauren walked back with a bag in one hand and a box under her arm. I looked away outside the window as she approached.
I had helped open the door from the inside, she handed me the bag. "Thank you, you're very kind, not like the other cops ive met." I told her. "Well hun, Im here to help." She smiled.
"I'll pull over behind that building, theres a door that leads into the employee lounge and theres a bathroom in there where you can change." She began as she turned to key. We smoothly glided behind it. "Dont let your dress drag, its still evidence and shouldnt be tarnished." She handed me a sterile bag for it.
As I we walked into the lounge I spotted the womens restroom and headed there. I hadnt even bothered to look at what was inm the bag until I pulled the green and black flannel over each arm and buttoned it. The dress was put in the large brown bag she handed me. I effortlessly slid the flared jeans on and fastened them. There were socks in the bottom of the bag and soon enough Lauren slid the box under the stall door. "Thank you very much." I said. Black and whit cheap Converse just like my tattered ones at home. "How much do i owe you mam?" I asked as I stepped out handing her the newly bagged evidence. "Absolutely nothing. Youve been through a rough time. You deserve something nice." "Again, very kind."
We were on our way to the hospital and she asked "What's your name by the way?" I shifted in my seat "Hannah Silverstein"
The rest of the ride was silent. Until i asked, "Whyd you put a bloody dress in a paper bag, it will leak, wont it ruin things? Wont the fibers from the bag mess up anything?" I broke the tension. "Actually it wont thats why had you put the bloody side up. If you keep it in a sealed bag the blood can grow bacteria and thats what will ruin the evidence. Most articles of clothing are put in paper bags so that way any wet specimens do not get contaminated." She said happily. "Oh, thats kinda cool." I spoke.
"I guess i should tell you now,"
"Take your time, youll need it."
"Gabe and i came home from the dance and heard our mom and grandma arguing. I dont think either of the two are sane... It never gets bad with them, iots just loud ya know?" I paused looking at her."So we went into the den to talk, but about thirty minutes later we heard a lamp break and Gabe ran in..." My voice choked up as I attempted to continue."I knew dad was an asshat, but I never knew he would be like this...There was no man in there, It was something really evil, even his eyes looked different..." By the end of those words i was crying and my face was hot."He was choking her...Gabe tried to stop him with the vase but it was like he wasnt even human...It had no affect on him." I stopped to wipe my eyes and catch my breath."He cut Gabriel, really bad, theres so much blood everywhere... So much damn blood.." She handed a paper towel and i blew my nose and tanked her. "Gabe is a doctor you know... He works in California. He is a really good guy." I paused. "I saw mom by the wall and ran to call 911 but I hear the gun, I thought he shot Gabe..So I went to see but he had locked himself in the den so I went to help mom and-" I was in tear, I couldnt stop crying. Were almost there and I was balling like a child.
As we pulled into a parking space I continued "He said he was going to kill all of us. I thought he killed Gabe...But as he walked towards me the next thing i knew i saw dad hit the floor from my iron bat from softball. Gabe was full of blood..." It felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest, my body shook."You know the rest."
