17 And A Teen Mom. ( being edited)

Chapter Twenty-Six

Lillian woke up to Zane crying and she propped herself up to get up and get him, but the night before rushed back to her. She froze for a moment before yawning heavily, throwing herself down on the bed, and groaned, bring her hand up to her hand, “Did I cut my hair?”, she asked as she scratched her head.

It was quiet for a moment and Lillian was wondering if Ryan was in the room for a second. “Yeah.”, he finally answered

She groaned again, “Why?”

“I don't know, something about starting over.”, he said

She remember then and thought by just cutting her hair, all her problems would have gone away, and she could start over. She hesitated, but put her hands on the bed and lifted herself up, turning to face Ryan, “I don't even want to know what I look like right now.”

He just gave her a small force smile.

She pulled the blanket closer to her and felt so ashamed of herself at the moment. “I'm ruining everything.”, she muttered to herself. This whole time she was putting the blame on Ryan, it was her own self that was the problem. She pulled her top lip inside her mouth and chewed on it, blinking back the tears stinging in her eyes.

“What was that?”, Ryan asked, moving over to the bed.

She looked up at him and took the blanket off, “I miss you, Ryan.”

Ryan looked down at Zane who was in his right arm and looked back up at her, “I know, you told me about two hundred times last night.”

She brought her hands together, “I know I haven't been the best girlfriend an—oh, my god.”, she said when in the corner of her arms she saw herself in the mirror. She couldn't stop herself from looking and brought her hands together, “Oh, my God. No.”, she said when she saw what she looked like without being high off her mind.

Ryan will never want her now after what she's done. Her long hair is gone, it's now in some pixie haircut and what's worse, she did it herself so there was chops off even here and there.

“Jeanette shouldn't have given you whatever she gave you.”, he said.

“Don't blame her, it's no one to blame but myself.”, she said, finally looking away and back to him. “You probably don't even want to look at me right now.”

“Because of the hair cut or because you told me Duncan kissed you and you kissed him back?”, he asked and she lowered her head in shame. “Personally, I like your hair, Lil. It's different, make you look cute—cuter.”, he said and a small smile appeared on her face. She wasn't sure if he was lying or not, but it made her happy for him to try and make her feel better about her stupidity.

When she gain the courage, she finally looked up at him, “The kiss meant nothing, Ryan. I was really vulnerable and thought it was a good idea, but I felt so guilty after.”

He set Zane down on the bed, “Okay.”, he said and she gave him a confused look. “I forgive you.”

Though she wanted to be happy to hear that, it sounded more like he was more settling with all this, not actually meaning it. “N-no, we need to talk, fight, something.”, she said, walking over to him and he gave her a confused look. “I know you say it, but don't mean it. I want you to tell me everything you feel, I just don't want you to settle with just forgiving me, it'll be on my chest forever.”

He groaned, “Come on, Lil, really? I don't really want to—“

“I know you hate talking, but please.”, she said, making her eyes bigger. “Try, for me.”

He hesitated, but breathed out hard, “I was angry—pissed. You made me feel so bad and when you told me about you and Duncan, I felt like you were a hypocrite towards me, Lil. Was I hurt? Yes. I wanted us to stop talking last night cause I knew I would start yelling at you and I would hate myself for yelling at you.”, he said and took a second break. “I miss you to and I still love you, which is why I just wanted to ignore this part and be back together. I can look past this—if you promise it will never happen again.”