Prohibited story i can say. looking at the sky which was so blue, somehow represent my deepest feeling, probably even the entire feeling of mine. i feel happy. passing these three days with this perfect combined human being has been perfect. his name, his voice, his nose, his eyebrows, everything he has are just perfect, perfect, perfect.
perfectionist human being that i am. it not because he has a good car, good facial structure and good muscle; those are bonus to me. but only look at how he treat another, how he always smile, so gentle to everybody, and have big lips like mine; those are symbols of perfectness already.
i dont know if im a freak on reading humans facial or just looking for a guy who has a big lips so he will understand how much struggle born with huge pair of lips. the struggle of being called names because of it, the stress of being second priority because of it, the harsh feeling of being wrongly known as big mouthed.
the breeze of wind break all the happy feeling into wonderful feeling. all of sudden i feel like i want him, forever. terrified, if he knows all my entire feeling towards him. he will take of his shoes, throw it to me and run as fast as Usain Bolt and saying "AHHH!!! this girl is crazy!! it took three days to feel that way! and three days ever since she know me! i thought girls need time to love somebody!".
i stand from my sit, i got a goosebump, feeling so happy. happy to me means smiling a lot no matter what im doing, doing laundry, sitting, laughing at unfunny jokes and what i still dont understand is that i smile at the grey clouds in my window which i usualy growling at. it is so weird. odd to me to feel, odd for people to see me smiling and laughing a lot. thoughts of people around me is going to be like, "ahahah im talking to a psychopath ahaha" *with jeremy lin's laugh.
he put my smile again, when i feel gloomy about "one door shut out loud in front of me"; simple word, dumped. sit in front of that door hoping that door will open by itself again. i got fed up being gloomy, so i tried to see if there's an open door for me. and i saw tons of doors are open for me. people doors', jobs doors', opportunities doors', even broken doors.
he taught me that "some people will come in your life, just to teach you to let go". just to know that, i feel like im not alone, it feels good. and see the person who's saying that smiling, was like elton john and lady gaga singing, "hello hello. my, my, my, what have we here?. what a surprise, what a surprise. hello, hello. im not alone it's good to know. someone's out there to say hello hello..."; not only stops there, the roses' petals are flying around me with gentle wind and all people around me be wearing tuxedo and black gown, they all doing some mezo soprano along in the background of the song, they be like "aaaaaaaoooooooaaaaaaaa". that's why a psycho like me CAN NOT be in love, she will turn into someone extra-ultra-exaggeration.
for specific person, loving that person needs time, could be a lot more, could be less for another. the more open minded you are the easier to love. if you're not open minded, never expect me to love you in three days no matter what color you are, who you are, what you have, and how handsome and famous you are.
