Over billions of people, more than thousands of years of time here on this planet.
Then, there's me.
A dark, lonely soul trying to find its way around the life we all seem to love. This soul, this life, is mine to hold as it doesn't have a care, a fear or a desire for anything you could offer to it. For me, life is not the best part of the roller coaster.
No, this life has been nothing more than the part where you are constantly dizzy, you can't feel your body, and you feel as if you are falling, grasping the bar that holds your life before death. You're spinning, spinning, spinning and just can't stop.
Not until you get that moment.
That moment where you let go and you fall, hoping for the very best. Though every emotion, every memory, pouring out everything that you've known is this misery known as life itself.
The cart, your life, then coming to a complete stop, frozen in time. Stumbling as you make your exit from the ride, taking the last few sights and breaths which would be your final.
You're there, done with the ride which caused you your greatest memory, the happiest one to you and your last.
What is the formal name for this conclusion, you might ask?
Well, we know it as the blissful way to close the book at which we lived the short, desperate life. Death.
' ' '
I trudged slowly across the line of the deserted beach. The sand sneaking through my toes as the ocean water washed up past my feet, then sucking back in while it took the sand with it. Leaving the small bubbles of the sea foam across my feet until disappearing either by the evaporation, or being replaced with another layer.
My thoughts sank deeply in my mind as if they were the anchor, making my mind stop in its place. I always wondered why the ship never sinks, actually. All that pressure, all the mass just on one platform.. "How did it stay up? Did the ship want to sink? Do I want to sink..?" I stopped there in my tracks, starring at my feet as the water came and was gone instantly, much like everything in my life.
There. Right there, right now. I wanted to fall. My face hitting the sand as my eyes were shut. Waiting for the water to come back up and take my body away to the sea. I am that ship. But.. will it sink? Or will I stay afloat?
As much as I wished for this, it could not be. There was something, or someone, holding me back. Catching me before I fell into the depths of my own future. I could not, no matter how much I tried, figure out what this was, and why it was with me and this damaged soul.
This is a very strange world, yes. I can't quite comprehend why people claim to love.. this. This is misery. Nothing but a universe full of horror, death and sorrow. You don't know the feeling of, 'love'. No one does, and no one will. All those stories and movies, they're full of it. They're not real. They are not, nor will they be.
Forgetting about the false, dreadful lies, I looked back up to the sky above me. "If only one could fly away," I thought to myself, "I would be free from everything. Gone away somewhere far, far away.."
Though, there is one who is granted such a beauty. Birds. Oh, how I wished to be one. Fly away and start somewhere new to me, never looking back towards the past which has haunted me. I feel as though they have everything. Other than planes and helicopters and such, the is theirs.. All theirs..
I closed my eyes once again, spreading my arms out as if I were an eagle myself. A breeze then attacking me, tossing my hair perfectly behind me as I felt my white spring dress dance with the wind itself. There I was, my life at best right here, right now..
