Real

2.

'What are you doing? You jerk.'

'I'm sorry, absolutely. But you should watch where you're going too. Don't daydream.'

'Excuse me, who are you?'

'I'm Ronald. I go to your class?' Who does he think he is?

'Well I don't care but you... you.... ugh!'

I drop my lunch right there and leave the room stomping as I hear the table I sit on laughing, including Jackson. My eyes fill with salty, burning hot water. And I realize that I'm crying now. Because of what?

Just because a jerk spilled pasta on me and a bunch of my fake friends shamelessly started laughing at it instead of helping or defending me. Now I'm actually ashamed of the amount of real friends I have. None.

I'm in my process of running to washroom to clean my pasta filled shirt. Where am I?

Where is my real me? Was my real me this weak within from the beginning? I just don't get it. I have changed so much. From right now I'm reinventing myself. I complete my trip and finally reach the washroom. I clean up and wipe my tears. Don't bother to put my make up on again because its reinventing time as thought.

'Haha loser!' A girl walks in.

'Are you talking to me?' I ask.

'Do you see anyone else here?'

'Yeah I am a loser. You know why are people calling me that now? Because I just got hit by a pasta car! Why does it make such a difference anyway?' I shout at her.

'It makes a difference because you are a big deal at this school. If it would have hit me, it would have been like a routine lunch time day.' My god I just noticed she looks like a goth.

'You really think that?'

'Yeah totally. You also have a pretty real group of friends there.' She says taunting me.

'Yeah I just realized.' I say.

'Anyway, are you a sophomore?' I ask now taking interest in her.

'Nope a senior, but I have all different classes than you and I'm not a cheerleader. So don't worry to notice me.' She says with a smirk.

'Why are you talking to me?' I ask.

'I have an offer. For your good.' She says. An offer? What does she want from me?

'What kind of offer?' I say rolling me eyes. I need to stop. Implement the new me.

'I am going to help you maintain your respect and in return you will stop acting like a puppy who needs severe attention from all the popular people and needs to be popular herself, leave those fake people and give a thought to making new friends who actually will be fun and have your back.' She clears her throat.

'If you ever experience situations like these in the future.' She completes. I want to laugh at myself but I cant.

I stare at the mirror. She just threw her justification in my face. In my face. I'm crying. There, the liquified mascara is running down all over my face making me look like a ghost. Did I ever notice that all this was actually happening? I guess this is just a sign. To make me mentally awake of the happenings in the surroundings near me.

'Why do you care? Why do you care about my life?' I ask with my eyes squinted in anger and sadness.

'I guess it's time to tell you the truth that I have been longing to tell you since.' She just scared the hell out of me by saying this.

'So first of all, let me just introduce myself. Hope it gives you some memories. I'm Rose.'

Rose. God, this is Rose. I feel like slapping her right now. She was the one to ruin my elementary school. She had written offensive words on some other student's locker and told someone from the faculty that I had done it and that I was also bullying her. It had got me suspended from school for three weeks and I was grounded by my parents for that whole semester.

'You are the one! You. Why was I even paying you attention? Are you here to ruin my senior year again, if you haven't seen enough!' I literally scream at her.

'Can you just calm down. Oh my God! It's still so difficult to deal with you. Would you even listen to me? Please. I beg you to?' She asks.

'I'm listening.'

'I know you see me as your mortal enemy but I'm here to be you true ally right now. I know what I did to you in the past was very wrong but you don't know how sorry I am. I did that all for a reason. We are studying together from grade one. When you came to the school, we were tiny and really good friends. It was all blue skies and rainbows at that time. From the beginning, I had always admired you, the way you look, the way you handled things and talked to people and everything. As we grew up, every single person wanted to be your friend, your partner, your everything. I felt like everything was being taken away from me. I became jealous and acted shamelessly towards you but as I said before, even after all this I still want to be your friend.' She pressurizes the word "your" every time she speaks.

'So this is actually a peace offering. You'll get some really fun and true friends and I will be able to give my sorry to you. But hey, I had no intention to become cheesy. It's just not me. I hope you give me a chance. I know that I look pretty scary for your taste, but I think it really doesn't matter that much.' She says and makes her way out.

'And not mattering on the outside actually does matter on the inside.' She leaves and the door shuts behind her.

I feel like that statement just changed the way I viewed my whole life till now.

I feel now I can face the world in any situation. Totally. I button up my flannel, roll the sleeves up and clean up my face with water. Wipe it with my shirt as I notice the paper roll is over. Apply a dark coat of eyeliner, because that is how I have always liked myself. Now, I don't care who thinks what of me, because its not going to change in anyway of what others want to see.

From the inside I still wonder that, will I be able to remain this strong personality or not?