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and there he stood. with a gun in his hand, a cup in front of him, a cup with a note in it, an empty cup.

i watched him as he stood there. hopeless, lost, and angry. i watched silently from my window, my curtain pulled back slightly to watch him, the sleeves of my black sweater pulled, my eyes red and swollen from crying. 

i watched him rage and roar. i watched him as he threw empty cups around. 

i watched him destroy himself almost everyday. i watched from my window silently and he would never notice.

i always wondered why he did this. why he contemplated suicide, why he would place his death notes in empty cups on his nightstand and stare at them every night. 

i watched and i wondered.

every morning he would check the mail and greet me with a smile, a heart warming smile. no one would ever be able to guess that he was depressed & hurt. that he placed his suicide notes in empty cups.

but i did.

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