Thoughts of a Missionary's Daughter

My Self Dependent Thoughts

        I'm a rather concerning independent person for my young age of 18, but not in the way other people seem to be. Other people my age are in college living on their own, our society's definition of independence, despite their parents paying for their education. Me? I live with my parents and go college ten minutes from my house, in my mom's car. While other people are independent because they have their own car, and live miles away from their family; I'm independent mentally and emotionally. I'm not sure if that makes any sense so I'll try to explain it.

     Maybe it has to do with me being an introvert but I don't feel the need to express myself to others. It's not that I don't trust others with my thoughts, I clearly do because why else would I be posting this? No, I'm just don't want to. I am extremely good at keeping all my emotions boxed up and nearly contained inside me. And that might not be the best thing but I always find myself doing it. I can easily talk to others about my feelings on things that don't matter life my hate for math, or my nervousness about an upcoming test. But when I comes to the deep stuff, like love and fears...well I keep my mouth shut. I have talked to my parents maybe once or twice about my fear of not getting good enough grades to transfer into a good University. Maybe I have even told them about my worries of us not having enough money for me to get a doctorate in psychology, but there are subjects I steer clear of.

     I feel like I'm the only one who doesn't feel the need to speak about the things that goes on in his or her head. But I can't be, and that's why I'm writing this I guess. Not because I need an outlet for my emotions, or even to get attention. I'm writing this because I know someone can relate. Maybe this journal type thing will be encouraging or it'll help someone not feel alone.