Blades of Silence (Jaspar fanfic)

Two Months

So happy with how this story is turning out. :)  

WARNING: This chapter mentions self harm if you are triggered by that please be careful when reading this chapter. Just remember I love every single one of you even if we never talked before. 

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2 MONTHS LATER

I'm 12 weeks today, I haven't seen Caspar in 7 weeks, I mean I've seen him. Thru his  channel, but, It wasn't actually him. I miss him.

"Joe ready to go?" Zoe asks me. She let me move in with her alongside Alfie. I nod my head, "Which one are we going to first?" I look at her. We're going to look at apartments today. I miss him.

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"This one is a two bedroom one and a half bathroom and a full kitchen and dining room." The realtor speaks. "It's beautiful." I tell her. "What are the rules on painting?" I look at her, she smiles saying "As long as you're paying rent and paying it on time you can paint it." I nod going into the smaller bedroom. I imagine all the places I could put the baby stuff. The crib can be put against the back wall the changing table next to it, the dresser next to the light switch and my rocking chair in the corner. "Joe it's lovely." Zoe speaks walks in behind me. "I know I really like it." I inform her turning around to face her. "Zoe can we get going?" I ask her. "You alright?" she asks me probably noticing my mood change.

"I mis 'im Zo." I say pathetically. "I want to go out and buy stuff but I feel like he should be there." She nods her head understanding. "I'll let Lucy know." I thank her quickly walking out of the room, I walk out the front door. Closing my eyes breathing in the London air. Yes, I'm moving back to London. It took some convincing from Zoe but, she did convince me. Something bumps into me knocking me to the ground.

         "Hey! watch where you're going." I shout angrily brushing the dirt off my pants. "Sorry, mate just in a rush. You could not stand in the middle of the walk way though" OH MY GOD, That South African accent. I snap my head up. He just then looks up from his phone. "JOE!" He shouts. He pulls me into a hug. I awkwardly stand in his arms. "I missed you, I missed you so much." He repeats. "Hi,Casp." I say quietly.  

We stand awkwardly in the middle of the sidewalk people walking around us quickly, some mutter words under their breath. "I'm so sorry." He says. I groan out. "Caspar, I can't do this." I say turning to walk back into the flat I was looking at. ' god what's taking Zoe so long?' I say to myself. "Joe please. Just hear me out." he says grabbing my elbows, making me stay put. "I was drunk and stupid, and I'm so sorry." He speaks looking directly into my eyes. "Caspar I do-" I start to speak but he interrupts me. "You told your viewers you're pregnant." he gruffs. 

"I had to, didn't I?" I say shaking his hands off of me. "I had to because, look at me" I gesture to my stomach. "It's not that big yet but, could you imagine." I finish. I look back at Caspar watching him stare at my stomach.  "That's the thing Joe I don't want to imagine. I want to be there. I want to see." He begs. Zoe walks out of the building Alfie following behind her, She looks up smiling at me, her eyes widen as she sees Caspar. 

         "Caspar! you get away from him!" Caspar stand in shock at her outburst she holds her slightly larger stomach walking down the stairs from the front door. Once she reaches him she gabs her finger into his chest making him tumble backwards. "You made him cry for weeks, and you told him you loved him, but you go and do this!" she shout leaning towards him glaring. By now, people were staring, a mum pulling her child slightly closer to her. I hear the little girl whisper. "Mummy is that boy pregnant?" I close my eyes and listen to the mums response "Don't be silly dear, he's a boy."