My shower thoughts

Why not now?

  You know, everybody's gotta change. I remember in tenth grade, i lost a lot of friends. I remember how happy I used to be before 10th grade, i used to literally be so happy, all day, everyday. And if one thing bothered me, it wouldn't bother me for more than an hour. I also remember my friends and how close our whole groups used to be. And then i started high school...
  It's true you know? If you're not losing friends, you're not really growing up.  And that's a good and a sad thing. It's sad because everything suddenly begins to suck. You start getting depressed, you start noticing stuff like how some of your friends don't really like each other, or don't even like you, the pressure, growing up, studying, preparing for college.. It's all just stressful. But it's also a good thing because, the sooner you lose those fake friends, the better. Yes, it'd be a shock and all but imagine if you found out about them like 15 years later, that'd kill you not just hurt you.
   The reason why I started thinking about that is because of my friends now. Not my close ones, just classmates. They just started losing friends, and their group just started breaking. We're seniors and they just noticed that some of their friends aren't really their friends and so i felt sad because i remembered how shitty that was like.
  But as i said, everybody has to change at some point. You're growing up, it's part of life. But why do we wait? Why does it have to be a "new year new me" thing? Why does it have to start on a birthday or a certain event?
  Some people would say that they feel fresh and ready on those certain events and that they wouldn't be able to change on a normal day but those are all excuses.  If you really want to change, you can and you will.  You don't need a certain time or situation. Take control, do what you gotta do. Find your flaws, embrace them, try to fix them, sort your life out without stressing. The only thing that can truly change you, is you. Don't wait for a certain situation to break you, don't wait till your friends leave you or till you get your heartbroken for the first time. Yes, those can change a person quite a lot, but is it to the best? No, not always.
  All you need is to believe in yourself and you can do it.  Are you not happy with something? Change it. Does that person bother you or make you feel uncomfortable? Leave them, cut them out of your life. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life. Be selfish, care and love yourself first because girl, when everybody leaves you behind, you'll be there for yourself. Don't attach your happiness to someone because you never know when they might leave. Do whatever it takes to make you happy.
  I'm not saying be a bitch and forget everybody else, what i'm saying is stop sacrificing your happiness for them. And i just turned into DJ khaled... Cool.
  If your friends are judging you, they aren't really your friends. Find someone who you feel comfortable around, someone you can be a total idiot with and they wouldn't judge. Don't set excuses for anyone, if they want you in their life, they'll show it. Work on yourself for yourself, to be a better person. And enjoy life, don't think twice about what's going on, just go for it. Tell him you like him. Go to that party. Make the first move. Join a club. Do something weird because who knows, you might like it.  And if somebody doesn't like it, who cares? There are other people in this world who would.

Be happy and be yourself.

-curious as always, finally out of the bathroom.