2
I tried to say “I miss you tonight.”
And they claim you’ve already died.
— stellastarr*, “Lost in Time”
What on earth can you do…
but catch at whatever comes near you with both your hands,
until your fingers are broken?
— Tennessee Williams, Orpheus Descending
3
Never Say Good-bye
Florence, December
Schuyler did not sleep the entire evening. Instead she lay awake, looking up at
the crossed wooden beams on the ceiling, or out the window to the view of the Duomo,
which shone a rosy gold in the dawn. Her dress was a crumpled pile of silk on the
floor, next to Jack’s black tuxedo jacket. Last night, after the guests had left, after
cheeks were pressed affectionately against hers in loving good-byes, and hands had
blessed and patted her ring in a gesture of good luck, the new couple had floated over
the cobblestone streets back to their room, buoyed by the happiness they’d found in
their friends and in each other, in turns exhilarated and exhausted by the events
surrounding their bonding.
In the dim light of the morning, she curled her arm through his, and he turned
toward her so that they pressed against each other, his chin resting on her forehead,
their legs entwined together under the linen duvet. She placed her hand on his chest to
feel the steady ordered beating of his heart, and wondered when they would be able to
lie like this again.
“I need to go,” Jack said, his voice still rough with sleep.
He pulled her closer, and his breath tickled her ear. “I don’t want to, but I
need to.” There was an unspoken apology in his words.
“I know,” Schuyler said. She had promised to be strong for him, and she
would keep that promise, she would not fail him. If only tomorrow would never come;
if only she could hold on to the night just a little longer. “But not yet. See, it’s still
dark outside. It was the nightingale you heard, and not the lark,” she whispered,
feeling just like Juliet had that morning when she’d entreated Romeo to stay with her,
drowsy and loving, yet fearful for the future and what would happen next. Schuyler
was trying to hold on to something precious and fragile, as if the night would be able
to protect their love from the oncoming doom and heartbreak the day would bring.
She could feel Jack smile against her cheek when he recognized the line from
Shakespeare. As she traced his lips with her fingers, feeling their softness, he moved
his body over hers, and she moved with him until they were joined together. He placed
