Damaged

It was 2011. I was in 8th grade and I had just left a dreadful summer. The bell rang and school was out. Now going to sonic after school was a cool thing to do and so I did it. I saw you sitting there. Wondering if you noticed me or even recognized me from summer. We sat there. As awkward as two people can be. Had a few chuckles here and there. Then we exchanged numbers and went on our way. 

Starting that day I had a new texting buddy. You were such an amazing texter. Keeping our conversation going and bringing life to them. We started hanging out at the Amphitheater and slowly I grew onto you like a vine twisting and hooking it's self to a rail or wall. Now I didn't have any intentions on letting you become the biggest thing in my life but you did. You some how made everything feel real and exciting. 

That day. The day I decided I wanted to kiss you. I knew everything would change but I hoped for the good, and it did don't get me wrong. I will admit you did at one point make me the happiest person in the world. As we were adventuring and finding new places to hangout closer to my house so I would be home on time. We came upon this abandoned house. In great shape. At first we hung out, outside. That's the day we had our first kiss. That bright sun-shining day. With little butterflies fluttering everywhere. That's when you started calling me butterfly. We had our perfect first kiss. And that's when I became infatuated with you and you meant everything to me. After a while and a couple of times of being around out-back we decided to go inside. 

Room 1. Our first room together. We were bored and laughing together and decided to get some old greeting cards we found on fire. That's how that big hole in the carpet came to. The day we gave each others to each other was in that room. I was wearing my bulldog basketball shorts and my hair up. It happened to the left under the window on the carpet. Room 2. We knew we were the only ones who knew about the house, and we called it ours. Everyday beginning in September the month I told you I loved you. The month you said it back. We went to the house. We brought blankets when it got cold and did unspeakable things almost everyday. Some days we just laid there holding each other. I still remember your long shaggy brown hair. You big goofy smile with your braces that were green which were your favorite color. 

We thought the room needed some lighting up so we decided to spray paint it during February. By then you've seen me laugh, cry, scream, yell. So we we're as inseparable then ever. You wrote our initials and said you loved me. If a boy spray painting it in big letters didn't mean love then I don't know what did. Days went on and we saw each other everyday. One night when you were working at Brahms we decided for you to sneak over and we would cuddle and watch TV together. Criminal minds to be exact but we got caught and you left before we could finish it. But you put forth the effort to walk over a mile in the dark to see me. I truly thought I was everything to you. But that one day in May halted me and made me devastated and wrecked. It was sunny and you could see everything. Laying the naked wrapped in sheets with my head on you shoulder and my hand on your chest you looked at me. That look where you know the next thing that was going to be said was bad. You asked me "What are you going to do?" I hate those words. I crying at the thought of ever hearing them. I looked at you with confusing. I thought we had just got done making incredible love and everything was amazing in my little mind and going perfect. But you asked again. I answer "I don't know..." Knowing what the question was about. About you going to visit your ex girlfriend ( Or it was complicated relationship) and your son. I couldn't talk. I hadn't wanted summer to come at all. I knew you would have to leave. Not for long but the thought of you being with her tore my heart in half. 

That summer went by and you posted pictures of you and her and ya'lls little family. I didn't bother texting or calling. No need for her to know about us. No need for anyone really. Come to think of it I hadn't told anyone that year about my first love. In fact I felt that we weren't going to be the type of couple that puts everything out there. Well we never did and soon our secret relationship was fading away. My summer started out with allot of long nights of crying and torturous days of heat. That summer my self esteem and out look on life had changed drastically. I became more in closed and wants to grow up faster. Or atleast become of age to move out and not have other people controlling me. 2012 Freshman year came around and I knew I was going to be in the same school as you. During the first two months of school we didn't say anything to each other. We'd see each other and I would look away as soon. The 31st of October was the night we had talked in a while. I was sitting at sonic with my friends around 8 at night getting drinks and you were driving by with some friends and I had felt so amazing I could have such a great thing about me that had you make them stop just so you could come talk to me.