Fix Me

It had taken me a long time... A long time to, finally, find myself. I had been living in the shadows for so long. My family, even though, I love them, keep too many secrets, they fight and they turn their backs on each other even when it was not how they raised their children. Humans filled with contradiction.

I was always one to keep things to myself, my mind an imaginary world where mental and verbal abuse did not exist, where I could formulate my ideas, be my own person. I had taken the whole idea to keep quiet, everything I did became wrong in their eyes. I was charismatic -I still am- though, they never cared. I have nothing against other people, I am usually calm about any situation; I fix it with a smile, a small nod, and some good heart-felt words.

My family, tough, were machines -I don't know if they still are, I ran away-, the automatic judgment, their heartless words, they all became engraved in my heart, my mind and soul. I never learnt to love myself for who I was. I was strange, a sinner in the eyes of God. I had become scum. A man, as my grandpa had called a woman with my same sexual attraction -even though, I was clearly a girl-.

My grandfather... The main reason as to why I always kept myself hidden, I was afraid they would disown me -although, they did later on-. I was scared, I was a coward. I had become a lie, a fake.

Though, now, I see who I, clearly, am, I was accepted by many, many people and loved by them too.

Though, I was still broken from my family's rejection, I was lost. To them, I was dirt, I was low and I was trash. I was a sinner. I had cried myself to sleep every night because of this, though, people, are being more conscious nowadays with homosexuals, my family and a whole lot of people hated on me, on my sexual preference... I was the disappointment on their children.

Well, all that changed, right after I met her...