My Miracle

Did you forget me?

Amber's P.O.V

I am so stupid. Niall promised to text me as soon as we got home, we were going to get an Iced Coffee in Starbucks. He never rang or texted me. Why would he? I was so stupid to think that he actually would. All day I stared at my phone blinking away tears. I never moved. I didn't even twitch a muscle. He made me so happy, he made me feel alive. I need him here, by my side to wipe the pain away.

I picked my phone up off the desk and threw it on my bed. I began sobbing violently, before falling out of my chair. In a heap on the ground, my hair strewn all over me and all I could do was cry. I choke on fresh tears and sniffle. I sob until I'm numb all over. My fingers curl into a fist and I roughly wipe my eyes.

I shakily stand up and clutch my desk for support. I let out a sharp breath and stand up straight, letting go of my desk. I shuffle into my bathroom and slam the door shut behind me. I look into my giant mirror and groan in disgust. "I'm so fat" I say, poking at my skin. "I'm a failure!" I spit. "I'm unwanted, a waste of space. I HATE MYSELF" I yell. I begin clawing at my skin.

I think, perhaps I hope to shed it off me. To step out of it and walk away a new me.

Perfect.

Wanted.

Skinny.

I get hytericall and claw deeper into my skin. I the skin off my back, stomach and hips open. Blooded gushes out and bathes my body. I laugh. 'You dumb bitch, look what you've done now" My clothes and skin are in tatters. But I don't care, I'm just done.

Done with caring.

Done with worrying.

Done trying to please people.

I grab my blade and hack at the skin on my thigh. Not caring how deep, how long, how much or where. I just want to feel numb. The cuts soon release the endorphins from the numerous slashes and I go numb. I'm now completely oblivious to the world. I can't feel anymore. I smile and slash at my skin a few more times before resting the blade on the edge of my bath.

I peel off what's left of my rags (clothes) and turn of the shower. I change the temperature to freezing cold and step in. Straight away it numbs my skin. I scrub off the blood, ignoring the pain. I turn the water off and step out of my shower. I snatch a towel from the rail and roughly dry myself off.

I get changed into clean underwear and fluffy socks. I pulled on an oversized, knitted jersey and blow dried my hair. I huff and try to figure out what to do with my hair. In the end I decide to straighten it and leave it down.

By now all the numbness has worn off. I'm me again.

Alone and Broken.

I pad into the lounge and sit on the windowsill of my HUGE window. I stare into the darkness of the night and my breath makes a little foggy patch on the window. The glass is cool to touch and I stare in wonder at the falling droplets of snow. I sigh and lean my head against the glass. It's nothing new, being forgotten.

But it hurts all the same.

Niall's P.O.V

I pick up a tired Harry and rest him in my arms, he snuggles into my chest and I slowly carry him up the stairs to my room. I lay on my bed, under the covers and lie down next to him. Harry rests his head on my chest and entwines our fingers. I kiss his forehead and mumble an 'I love you' I remember Amber, how peaceful she looked, resting on me. That beautiful girl.

Oh shit.

Amber.

I was supposed to text her. I had completely forgotten. "Sorry love" I say to Harry, moving his body off of mine. I grab my cell phone from my desk and crawl back into bed with Harry. "I'm just going to make a phone call baby" I coo. Harry shrugs his shoulders and snuggles back into my chest. I dial Amber's number and wait patiently for her.

"Niall?" She croaks. "Yes love it's me" I say warmly Niall. "Niall, you never texted me or called. I was worried" She said, it sounded like she was holding back tears. "I got, erm, busy?" I replied, almost sounding like I was asking her. "Did you forget me?" She whispers. "What? No!" I exclaim, lying through my teeth. "You did" She croaked. "Doesn't mean I stopped caring about you" I say. Amber doesn't reply, I can only hear her breathing. "I'm coming over tomorrow!" I say happily. "Mhmm, yep. Whatever" She says monotony. "Amber-" I begin, but she hangs up.

I sigh and chuck my phone on the ground. "Who was that?" Harry asks. "My friend Amber, I kinda forgot about her today, So I'm hanging out with her tomorrow" I reply. "How'd you meet her?" Harry smiles. I explain everything to him and finish with both of us smiling. "I'll never leave you babe" Harry says. "And I'll never leave you" I reply.

I lift his chin to my face and kiss him softly. Our lips move together and my toes curl. I pull Harry close to me before straddling him. I pull off his shirt and he does the same to me. I leave a trail of kisses along his jaw line and he sucks on my neck. I moan and dive in to kiss him again. Our lips clash and sparks explode. I push my tongue through his lips and our tongues swirl against each other.

Harry's nail's dig into my back as he moans. My back arches and he grips onto it tighter. "I love you" we say to each other before making love to each other.

Amber’s P.O.V

I put my phone back on my desk and sigh. He forgot. Why did I even get my hopes up. I just finally thought I could trust someone.

I wiped away a few tears with the back of my hand and sniffled. I went to my wardrobe and pulled out my guitar. I sat grimly on the edge of my bed and strummed a few chords until a particular song came to mind.

These clouds aren't going nowhere, baby

Rain keeps coming down

I just thought I'd try to call you, baby

For you got too far outta town

And I hope that you get this message that I'm leaving for you

'Cause I hate that you left without hearing the words that I needed you to

And I hope you find it,

What you're looking for

And I hope it's everything you dreamed your life could be

And so much more

I sigh and look out my window. “I fell for you Niall” I groaned. “And I fell hard” Why did things have to be so messed up? One thing I know for sure is that I’ll never be the one for Niall, I’ll never make him happy. My fingers begin strumming my guitar again as I stare at a picture of us on my phone.

And I hope you're happy, wherever you are

I wanted you to know that

And nothing's gonna change that

And I hope you find it

I feel my eyes stinging with tears and I place my guitar on the floor, not finishing the song. I crawl under the covers, ignoring the stinging pain of my fresh wounds. I curl into a ball and cry myself to sleep.