Chapter 1
Growing up I always loved fairy tales. Once upon a time two people would overcome evil witches, curses, dragons and many other odds all in the name of love then they would live happily ever after but can a fairy tale exist in today's world? Then I realized that while we do not have dragons and curses, we do have other obstacles that can separate two people who belong together and make them fight against all odds to end up in each other's arms. So begins our tale...
Once upon a time there were two best friends.
One of them is me. My name is Ana. I am just your typical graduate student working hard to finally graduate and join the real adult working world. I have a few close friends but because I am a writer I am used to being alone for hours as I write and research. Maybe being alone is part of the problem; I have never been able to find love. Long dark brown hair, blue eyes and unlucky in love, that is me.
Maybe I was looking for too much? I read book after book and each love story make me melt but it never existed before me. No guy made me want to stare aimlessly into his eyes for hours or to burn with desire just to have them touch me for a moment. I had given up then the slightest touch made my knees tremble. That was the day I met him.
Jose walked into my life and from the beginning shook me up. He crashed into me at a crowded bar and his hands as he pulled me back up made me weak. My body was spinning as I stared at him. Our connection was instant but not in the way that I wanted, I was looking for love and instead I found lust. He warned me up front that he was not a relationship guy. I didn't listen to him and let my heart lead me straight into his arms.
What he tried to tell me that I refused to hear was that he was a Dominant and he didn't want a girlfriend but a Submissive. I spent hours researching what that meant only to find that a Dominant was a man who wanted complete control over women. He didn't want any romantic ties at all and what happened between us was not love but lust in its purest form. Our relationship was strictly under a contract, I was his Sub and he was my Dom. I let him tell me what to do and when to do it. I had no idea what I was getting into with that contract, I was his submissive...I was bound to him alone; I could be with no one else. He had complete control over me and not just while I was with him. The contract held me captive 24/7. I could be with no one else but left he was free to have as many subs as he wanted. Why would a girl ever do that to herself? In a word, lust...I wanted him in the worst way so I took him the only way I was offered. I am not a girl to sleep around so from the beginning of my time with Jose I willingly gave up all thoughts of any others. I ignored all other guys and devoted myself fully to our agreement. I told myself that I was just honoring the terms of the agreement but the truth is that some point I fell in love with him but he didn't do the same.
Jose never gave up others like I was required to do by our contract. He never hid the other girls from me. One day he even mentioned that he would love to see us all together. The thought make me sick and after that I knew I was trapped. I loved him too much. I put up with his life style changing who I was and my whole life around him. I dropped friends who didn't like my choices and became the perfect sub but it was not me. It made me into a shadow of myself.
Jose was such a different man that I had even known. He was hard to love as he was a true Dominant. He saw me only as his to have under his rules and he even told me from the beginning not to fall in love with him. He wanted me to obey, to submit and to serve but never to go any further than that. We did not spend much time together outside of his playroom where I served him. We were not a couple. I should have listened to my friends but once I fell head over heels it was too late. I had changed. I waited by the phone hoping he would want to see me and on the nights when he didn't call I would sit wondering if he loved those other girls. Were they better than me? Why wasn't I enough for him? I tried so hard to be what I thought that he wanted that it was my undoing. Jose noticed at once that I was acting strange. I could not hide the way it hurt me that I was not enough. My days were spent miserable trying to think of ways to please him and praying for his calls while my nights were either spent alone trying not to think of where he was and who he was with or trying my hardest to please him as his sub.
Then came Thanksgiving, I left Jose to spend the weekend with my family who were full of questions about the guy in my life. It was hard to sit there and talk about him pretending that we were a real couple. I had to make up reasons why he would not want to come and meet my family. That weekend opened my eyes as I watched my family. I wanted what they had; I wanted someone with me all the time not just when sex was involved. I wanted someone next to me in bed each night and each morning. I wanted love, love not this lust.
I went straight back home to my place to think. Sitting alone I knew I was just looking for a reason not to go anything, a reason to let things stay as they were but the truth was the I had no reasons to stay with him but a million to move on. The most important one was that being with him made me feel horrible about myself. Steeling my heart I went to his place to gather up the few things I had left there. Jose was not pleased to see me, as he talked about how he had not summoned me I brushed past him grabbing things from my room. His face fell as I did not speak. I just turned to him with key in hand and then I walked out on my pain. If only I had been strong enough to keep it that way, just hours later Jose appeared on my doorstep with flowers and the words of love that I had been begging to hear from him. He said he wanted to give up the others and be with just me.
Suddenly all I wanted was within my grasp so I lunged but you cannot change a person into what you want them to be even if they try. Jose did give up the others for me but he changed in other ways too. In trying to be what I wanted he seemed to disappear. I moved in with him but I never saw him anymore than I did before. He gave me all that he could but as we drifted apart I was left wondering why we bothered. That was that day I met him...my best friend, Christian.
Christian, just saying his name makes me smile. He was everything I never wanted...cocky and arrogant from the first moment we met and maybe that was part of his charm but he had me at the first glance. I have never been so taken with a man and so frustrated at the same time. I was not sure whether I wanted to hit him or kiss him each time we would talk or argue as we always did. He brought out a side of me that I had lost and I loved that.
At a bar with my best friend and old roommate Kate, I was just standing with a beer in my hand bored when across the room I spotted him. At first I thought he was an old high school boyfriend so I strolled over and introduced myself. As we talked I noticed up close that he didn't look like him at all but I was lost staring into his blue-grey eyes. He had a way about him that made me feel at ease at once and before long he had me laughing as I hadn't laughed in so long. Being with Christian made me forget how unhappy I was and I wanted to know more about him. I learned that he had a sister that he cared about deeply and made sure she was taken care of. The more I talked to him the more I wanted to know so I went home and looked him up. Using the internet I learned about his business and the fact that he was unattached at the moment.
For the next few days I researched Christian and tried to find ways to talk to my boyfriend but it was not to be. The harder I tried the farther away Jose and I seemed to drift. It was to the point that even when we were lying side by side we were still worlds apart. I was torn between thoughts of Christian and my obligation to Jose. Could I have chosen the wrong guy?
