How I loath the mornings. The only reason as to why is because I have to look in the mirror everyday. I can't stand the mirror, or what I see. Everything people say about me constantly taunts me just as I brush my teeth. There is no escaping what they say about me. The rude comments I hear everyday about me, about my weight, about my looks. I'm constantly trying to fit into sociecty. Why will the world never accept me. Why do they insist on bringing me down all because I'm different.
Even if I changed the way the I look, lost weight, wore more makeup, I wouldn't be able to get those words out of my head. I could become all they wanted me to, I could become as skinny as they want me too. But for what? So they accept me? All my life they reject me, and treat me like less of a person. Even if I did get them to stop calling me hurtful names, I wouldn't be able to. They've made me so used to hating myself that now I can never accept me. I don't love myself anymore because they didn't love me. They didn't even like me.
Why do I try to have them like me? Why am I desperatly seeking their approval? All they do is down-size me, bad-mouth me, and yet I still want them to like me. It's because I don't even like myself. I never have. No one likes me, not even me. No one thinks I'm worth having around. No one thinks I'm perfet just the way I am. They all want more from me. They want less of me. They all want me to be thin, and flawless. Being unique isn't what people want this world. Even if I was what society calls beautiful, they wouldn't see it. I'm too fat to be called gorgeous. I'm too large to be anything more than what the treat me as.
Yet everyday I look into that mirror, my arch nemasis, and smile. Why do I smile? Because when I smile it gives me hope. It gives me hope that if I just keep smiling, fake or not, people will look at me. They will look at me in awe because they will see me smiling when they all they see is a fat girl. They will see me smiling and think 'She's happy.' They will think to themselves, and they will say it to their friends, 'She's happy just they way she is.' Then, and only then, will they stop with the horrid name calling and rude words. Only then will they finally believe that someone accepts themself even though they aren't what you'd see out of magazine. And, after all that, only then will I be able to smile like I mean it.
- - - - - - - - - - -
SOOOOOOO
I wrote this because There are so many people who want to say this, but they can't. They can't say it to themselve, or to others. SO, I wrote it. In fine print. 0^0
Love who are because if you don't who will. If you just keep a smile on your face and don't let it get to you then WALLA, you're so much more beautiful.
>.<
Keep smiling world.
^-^
