After my 18th birthday, my mother noticed that I was unhappy and I rarely go out the house and I spend my whole time laying in my bed listening to some Ed Sheeran songs, reading The Fault in our Stars again and again, ate every time there is food in my table and fond of thinking about what will happen to me tomorrow or in the next day.
Whenever you think about those things, it will make you depress and think about negative thoughts that could possibly change you. But my mom thinks that it is just an imagination that makes people be blinded about happiness. Happiness? I seldom feel that way because nobody knows how to make me happy except my mom, and she believed that someday I'll meet a person who will put a smile on my face each in every day. I was inspired by that but I told myself, Who would like a girl that knows nothing about life and always locked herself inside her room doing weird things? I guess no one. So my mother worried about me that she decided to have my summer vacation in my grandparents' house somewhere in New York.
Now I need to adjust again to the environment especially I'm not used to visit there, my grandparents are good teachers, and they taught me first and learned many things from them. But now because they're too old, they tend to forget my name. I'm already thinking it'll be so boring but well I have no choice. So my mom is driving me there now. "So what's first in your list when you got there?" my mom asked me. "Sleep? That's what I'm going to do the whole time I will stay there and think about dying." I replied with a very sarcastic tone.
"Make yourself productive, you should go to school, is that a good idea?" she said.
"What? You mean I will attend summer classes? But mom I am too lazy for that." I complained but honestly I want to.
I always wanted to meet new people, make friends but I'm not that type of person who talks too much, in short I am a shy-type woman. Back when I was in my high school years, my only friends are my books. No one dares to make friends with me because they thought I'm so strange wondering what I'm doing at home or what stuff I'm making.
So we stopped in a school named N.Y.U, from the name itself, it made me run out of interest, it's too plain and dull for me, I got enrolled and had the admission slip and I was shocked when I saw when will the classes start. "SERIOUSLY? UGGGGG! Next week? Are you kidding me? I am really not prepared for this, I just want to stay at home mom." I said.
"It's fine sweetheart, it'll be so exciting, I promise you, you will not regret this chance I gave you. You will meet new friends and have some fun. Could you do that for me? "
Well I have no choice but to stick to her decision, I don't want to make her feel down about me, I also want my mom to be proud because seeing her happy is the best thing I could ever imagined.
So I am now in my grandparents' house and my mother just left because she have some important things to do, the people here are so silent they don't even want to talk and I feel so awkward about it so I proceed to my room and just like what I'm used to, I played an Ed Sheeran track and I was so relaxed and it made me fall asleep.
