Diluted in the dooms of night; chilly, unforgiving and crass, I felt as though I was in the woods. Only because there wasn't a way to know. I couldn't truly see as if I was held in a partial illusion, everything vague with almost invisible glimpses. The pathways came and passed unpredictable but patterned. Nowhere did it lead to an escape.
Everything uncertain but two; I was daunted with fear that purged my pulse in horrific pace and misbalanced my breaths. I was running from that very fear, with every stride I killed myself for more.
Swift and swift, I struggled through in mind for a dire egress. In sense to beat around the bush, I scavenged for distance but his strides were only diminishing it between us. I didn't see his face, but I didn't need to, I knew who he was. So I prayed as I ran, desperate not to fall and be clamped.
There were tree or just trunks and branches or claws, but perhaps ashamed they looked away. The essence of fright in them like they were ought ignorance to anything the scenario lead to. What would the scenario lead to? It daunted me, more so because I knew what the answer was.
And finally, with all my luck poured in, I came to sight of an escape. There was no way to tell if it was, but I desired to believe so. However Fear gripped me before I made it and all I remembered last was my scream.
In between heavy and choked breaths, my impaired vision once again became visionary. The dark of night scrawled all over the room but the lodge's wooden ceiling still came to view. 'It was just a dream'. I relieved to myself. However even in that cool beads of sweat lain on my forehead, my night gown clung to my skin and my breathing was still ragged. 'It was a nightmare,' an obvious conclusion to decide upon.
Wrapping myself in a thick layer of shawl, I stood by the balcony. The open sky was embellished with thousands stars and there was a gust that could sooth but neither distracted me from my mind.
Humans are and will always be unsatisfied creature. Even with our own minds that drives us, we find disagreements and perplexity. When in distress, our mind works only towards two algorithm, the first is to see and face the truth of the situation and from there to look for a solution if any. And the second or the more common path, the path known infamously as denial, forgetting all that and drifting into our desired thoughts. If we take the first path, the one that usually requires courage, we find out that truth is crude and harsh and owed us nothing. The truth could hurt us and we then wish that denial was the path we should have taken. If we choose denial, it would provide us a temporary stability but once the bubble pops, we cry for not being prepared to face the consequences.
I wasn't the one with courage. When my actions came to light and changed to those of sins, I ran. I ran away from him. It wasn't easy leaving behind a life that I was beginning to build in Islamabad for 2 years. It was one that was better than the life I had all along in Karachi. So I ran back to Karachi, hoping I left no trace. And ever since I tried and acted as if none of it ever happened. That was easy of course considering almost no one knew. I shouldn't have tried to forget. I was stupid to think that what he had done was punishment enough. It seems that he found me and I had no idea on what I should do. And frighteningly it seems to be no escape this time.
A scruff felt up my throat as I peered inside to a sleeping Mehreen. The full moon lit her onyx hair like stardust, her face contoured in such peaceful demure. Despite everything, she was so naïve, pure and innocent. And she didn't know of what a tainted and flawed woman she trusted. Perhaps all the prejudices and injustices in my life were merely early punishments to the immortality that God knew I would place myself. Perhaps Ammi was right, I was a curse.
There was calm then and there but I was afraid that it was the calm before the storm.
***
Author's Note:
Hi to everyone after such long hiatus. Now you are probably pissed at such a short chapter but don't worry, I am going to do weekly updates from now.
You probably also a little confused with this chapter but that's meant to be, any questions ask in the comments, I would be glad to answer.
The new poster is made my friend who shares the same name as the protagonist in The Kite Runner and is inspired by a Bollywood movie Fitoor's main poster.
Anyways I hope enjoyed this little bit and vote or comment or both if you liked it.
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Living In Contrast (ON HOLD)
Romance(A/N: Story on hiatus ) Her life was a book. Written by everyone but her. She, however did not fight. Her life was painted. The colors decided. She, however did not crack. But changes they come, as inevitable they are. She learns things. She...
