UtaPri One Shots ((finished))

{ Camus } Be Yourself

  This first one shot is dedicated to the lovely @ReneeandLuke Thanks a whole bunches for requesting this and I hope you enjoy the little story love!

{ Your P.O.V }

Am I enough?

I couldn't escape that simple question as I sat on the couch in the Master Course, staring out one of the large windows to the idols outside. Haruka was out there with the ST☆RISH members, laughing at something Tokiya had said while Otoya blushed like an idiot. Everyone seemed so happy to be around their composer and here I am, a simple girl who's not an idol nor a composer, just sitting on a couch questioning her existence.

Camus and I have been in a relationship for a little over a month now and nothing has changed. Little to anything has changed really. He still treats me coldly as ever and rarely smiles. Even when we're supposedly spending time together, he often just reads his book and sips his tea like the Permafrostian Earl he is.

He is a part of the noble class back in his home country. He was practically raised by the Silk Queen herself. He still has the mentality of a noble.

Why is he with me?

It doesn't make any sense. An idol who's a noble from a foreign country suddenly taking an interest in me, a commoner who's just another normal person. I don't live in a fairy tail so this can't be real. Reality isn't this kind to those who are nothing.

Wait, am I nothing? Is this why Camus asked me out in the first place.

Does he pity me..?

I quickly looked away from the window and over to the wall directly in front of me. Seeing those boys with their composer, happy as ever is almost heart breaking. They're lives seem so perfect. I'm being naive and ignorant, yes, no ones life is perfect, but the way they all smile so genuinely and trust her is making me envious.

Not a soul looks at me like that. Then again, I'm nothing to look at. Ranmaru, AI, and Reiji all act nice to me, though I can see that they don't truly like me. Or am I just making myself believe these things?

No, I'm not deceiving myself. I'm not loved by anyone here and would better off be back to my old life before I met Camus and the other idols. Back when I was nothing more than an average human being.

Something in me broke at those thoughts. I truly am nothing. Maybe it would be best if I just left and returned to my old life. I wouldn't be missed anyway...

"___."

His deep voice snapped me out of my thoughts. Glancing up from where my eyes had trained down at my now wet hands, I met those normally icy cold eyes of his only to see an unusual warmth to them.

He stayed quiet as his hard features softened while he walked towards me. I didn't have the energy to say anything either as he grabbed one of my hands, pulled me up off the couch, and straight to his broad chest.

The way his arms wrapped protectively around my back and kept me close to him had me melting in his embrace. I instinctively grabbed the bottoms of his shirt and balled them up in my fists while burying my face into his chest.

Softly, he began brushing through my hair. "Why are you crying love?" Camus asked with a calm voice.

I remained quiet while gripping his shirt harder. There's no way I can tell him the truth. I can't admit to feeling inferior to everyone around me and useless. I'm not weak so I can't tell him anything to make him believe I am. He pities me enough and I don't need for it to escalate.

"___." He said my name again.

"I don't want to talk about it." I mumbled. "I don't want to talk about it..."

Camus sighed before dragging me off to his shared room with Cecil and leading me to sit directly next to him on the couch. He forced me to look him in the eyes as he held both my hands with his cold ones. "Tell me or else I can't help you."

That made me flinch. "I don't need help." I responded with slight venom laced in my words.

"Don't be like this ___." Camus sighed.

"Like what?" I asked, growing increasingly angry as I felt tears begin to prick at the corners of my eyes. "Myself?"

His hands covering my own tightened ever so slightly as he stared directly into my eyes. "___ please." He pleaded. "I need to know what's wrong. I want to rectify whatever it is I have done."

"It isn't what you've done."

"Then what is it?"

I felt a single tear fall and trail down my cheek. "I'm not good enough." I caved. "I'm not good enough to be here with you or with anyone for that matter."

Camus quickly pulled me closer to him and held me close to his chest much like before. "You're flawless so stop this unneeded crying."

I looked up to his face with a bitter smile while tears continued to fall. "But I'm not flawless, I'm nothing."

"You're everything." He whispered while leaning down some, bringing his face closer to my own. "You're everything to me and more love, the sooner you realize that the better."

"But I'm not a composer or an idol, I'm not royalty and I'm not refined like nobility, Camus I'm noth-"

My words were cut off as his lips pressed gently against my own. I let my eyes flutter shut as he passionately kissed me and tightened his arms around my waist. The second Camus pulled away from the kiss, he pressed our foreheads together with a soft smile while wiping away my fallen tears, softer than I've ever seen before.

"You, ___, are not nothing and don't need to be a composer, idol, royalty, or a part of the nobility, you need to be yourself. Yourself and nothing more and nothing less. You're a princess in my eyes as well as everyone else's and a perfect one at that even with your flaws. Do not doubt yourself and just learn to love yourself as much as I love you."

Almost immediately, my last ounce of composure flew out the window as I burst into a new fit of tears and cuddled up to his chest. Camus held me as I cried for what seemed like an eternity.

He doesn't pity me. Why would I ever think that? He loves me and I shouldn't ever question it. I just need to learn to become more confident and I can do that if I have this man by my side.

"I love you Camus." I murmured while kissing his cheek.

Camus genuinely smiled at me for the first time in what felt like weeks before placing a small kiss on my forehead. "I love you too ___."