ONE OK ROCK: Taka's Maker (Completed)

One Ok Rock - Chapter 37

Rock 37

He is still not online. I tried checking out other members pero sabi ni Tomomo, nauna na raw sa hotel si Takahiro, nasa bar pa sila.

Nakahiga na ako't lahat pero hindi pa rin ako mapakali kakaisip sa kanya. I tried typing a message again. "Heart, are you mad? Sorry if I didn't able to answer your call. I have no excuse to tell you, sorry. Please, let's talk! Call me soon as you read this.. :("

I checked his IG account and stalk his old posts there. "Haayy.. I miss you!" bulong ko habang nakatitig sa picture niya na nakahiga sa couch.

Siguro nga nakatulog na siya sa pagod. Sayang, sana andun ako sa tabi niya para alagaan siya. Pft! I really want to be with him right now, but even if I want to I know I can't. Ayoko naman kasi na maging agaw atensyon pa ako sa kanya lalo pa't hindi naman ako lulubayan ng mga buds ko. Gusto ko siyang bigyan ng space na alam kong kahit kami ng dalawa malaya pa rin siyang gawin ang mga bagay na ginagawa niya before. Ang totoo binilisan ko talagang gawin 'yung mga preparations para sa opening ng brand ko. I am actually done with it konti na lang kelangan ayusin, para na lang 'yun sa photo shoots nila rito sa Philippines.

Nagsisisi na ba ako na pinigilan ko 'yung sarili ko na sumama sa kanila? I only did it to show him that I completely trust him.

I closed my eyes and try falling asleep pero mukha niya ang nakikita ko. Punong-puno ng thoughts ang isip ko about him. What if nagalit siya kasi may usapan kaming mag-vi-video call eh. Pft! "Aish!" Tumayo ako at kinuha 'yung headset ko sa McM bag na dala ko kanina sa concert.

Bumalik ako sa kama at nahiga. I go to my playlist and listen to his song. "Waa! Shinreé, stop thinking of him. Let your love one sleep! What if magka  nightmare pa siya kakaisip ko? Pch!"

I click next so that the song will be switch. I put my pillow on my face. I hugged my Mori-chan stuff toy and still think of him as this stuff toy. "I effin' miss you so much.."

I just listen to Marianas Trench's until I fall asleep...

***

I'm reading all her messages. My heart is killing me. I fucking hate myself for fucking feeling this familiar pain. Sadness, pain, memories it all comes together when I saw her picture. Why? I feel like I was cheating on her. I can't talk to her right now, not like this. After all this time, ganito pa rin 'yung epekto niya sa'kin. Siguro totoo nga na mahirap kalimutan ang taong una mong minahal.

But, Kid the Maker will be hurt if she will know this. If she can only see my heart right now she will be hurt and that's the last thing I want to happen.

"Damn it!" naibato ko na lang 'yung unan sa wall. "Shit!"

Tumayo ako at naglakad papunta sa balcony para magpahangin. Then I saw the stars.. the sky is so dark so you can clearly see the beauty of the stars above. Then I remember her again..

"Why do you think there are lots of stars in the sky?"

"Hmm, why are you asking?"

"Wala lang gusto ko lang malaman. Curious lang kasi ako. They are so beautiful, right?"

Tumango siya. "One of their purpose is for us people to realize that even in the darkest places there are still things that you can find that will make it beautiful. The beauty of a certain thing can only be seen on darkest places."