The Beating Heart

Pt 1 - Introduction

This is me...

 I am looking into the mirror and I cannot see the person I used to be.

What changed? Is it my hair? Is it that they grew longer? My eyes, shining brighter than ever? My lips which used to smile a lot? 

I have no idea...

My name is Drocell Keinz and I don't know who I am anymore. 

There are these moments when I think I see something... Glimpse of shadows. Old memories hidden somewhere deep within me. But there is one thing... One question bothering me for a long time...

 How can I know that they are real?

I remember the beating sound. It is gone now... I feel nothing. There is emptiness in my chest. I don't know how I know this. All I can think about is my Master. She is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen (not including my sister). I have this feeling that I have to obey her. 

She is the ONE. She saved me... I'll tell you all about that later.

Those memories... The day I died... I don't remember much of my old self. Or I know... and I don't want to remember.

It was rainy day... just as many others here in London... I used to be butler in my father's house... You should know that I despise nobility. I am trash according to my father. My mother was a whore and I should never have seen the light of this world. But I have and I am really glad for it. My mother died when my sister was born. We had nobody and the only thing I know is that our father loved our mother very much and he was willing to take us to his home. His home...

This fancy place called Mandalay manor. Earl Mandalay... He gave us some education but it was only my sister he wanted. He already had his wife but she couldn't have children so he agreed to adopt my little sister and make her heiress to Mandalay household. I was never jealous of my sister. Deirdre never knew how it was hard to survive in the Shadow world... I have seen the worst of London before she was born... and I wanted more than anything for her not to see it. 

Deirdre became Mandalay and forbid our last name which mother gave us – Keinz. She told us we were kids of Christopher Keinz, the rich merchant from Germany, who stopped by every time he visited London. I believed I was Keinz my whole life... and then I was not. My mother was Taylor... and our true father was Mandalay. My life was based on lies... I also didn't know we had older brother. Mother never told me... I found out later when father told me.

It was one of the things that I could not forgive him. The oldest among us was forbidden just after he was born. Mother took him away and let him live on the streets. Are you asking why? Oh... what a reason... He was born without one hand... Just one hand... and she abandoned him... He grew up on streets... that's what he told me... My father knew where our brother was and he let me visit him eventhough he never did that on his own... I think he was just curious and wanted me to tell him all about his oldest son later... What a coward...

I recognized my brother immediately... It surprised me that he was actually working in a circus... Noah's Ark Circus. He looked exactly as my sister and me... Orange hair, purple eyes... and the missing hand. Well, he had one made from bone. I must say it was very nice looking hand. 

I forgot to tell you. I worked as my father's butler and puppeteer. He admired my sense for art so he let me make dolls. All little girls wanted my dolls. And I was proud. Once in my life. I admired the beauty in those little fragile things. Something so beautiful, but so cold and empty. Dolls without souls for artificial noble girls. Such a waste. But back to my brother.

I did not tell him who I was so I attended the show. I loved every aspect of that. Especially makeup. My brother was very talented. He did not say what his real name was but his stage name was Joker so I started calling him that. I waited after everyone left and waited outside of the tent... to finally talk to my rightful brother....